4th Annual Short Course Invitational
This past weekend we played the 4th annual Northwestern Connecticut Short Course Invitational. Unfortunately, we played with the fewest golfers yet. I blame this on the fact that more people didn't play. Mark won with a 37, becoming the first player to win twice. He also had the fewest putts. I had the closest to the pin and purple monkey. Nate and Dan won nothing...Losers.
Next year, I'm going to explicitly plan the event as a golf tournament and dinner to follow so people can't cheese out of attending the after party because their wife wants them to finish remodeling the bathroom. Next year, if you don't attend the award ceremony, you get no awards, and your score is disqualified, and everyone else shall call you 'Nancy' or 'Sissy Boy', or 'P*ssy Whipped'. Ha! When Michelle tells me to paint the ceiling or fix the shelves in the pantry, I say, "Get in the kitchen and bake me a chicken pot pie!" She always listens 'cause she knows what's good for her.
Next year, I'll strategically plan my child's baptism on the same weekend as the golf tournament, so when people come to the state for the baby, I can make them play golf too. I will tell them that they can only show they care about the baby by playing golf and if they don't play golf, they shouldn't bother coming to the baptism, but instead, just give me the presents for the baby then go home, because they obviously don't really care--those heartless bastards.
Yeah, that'll be cool.
Speaking of babies, Randy has one now. I thought he was going to be named Marmaduke or Mashed Potatoes but they named him Ryan. That's too bad, Mashed Potatoes is an awesome name. I guess this little guy will have to get the extra 20% of awesomeness some other way. I'm sure he'll be fine.
Next year, I'm going to explicitly plan the event as a golf tournament and dinner to follow so people can't cheese out of attending the after party because their wife wants them to finish remodeling the bathroom. Next year, if you don't attend the award ceremony, you get no awards, and your score is disqualified, and everyone else shall call you 'Nancy' or 'Sissy Boy', or 'P*ssy Whipped'. Ha! When Michelle tells me to paint the ceiling or fix the shelves in the pantry, I say, "Get in the kitchen and bake me a chicken pot pie!" She always listens 'cause she knows what's good for her.
Next year, I'll strategically plan my child's baptism on the same weekend as the golf tournament, so when people come to the state for the baby, I can make them play golf too. I will tell them that they can only show they care about the baby by playing golf and if they don't play golf, they shouldn't bother coming to the baptism, but instead, just give me the presents for the baby then go home, because they obviously don't really care--those heartless bastards.
Yeah, that'll be cool.
Speaking of babies, Randy has one now. I thought he was going to be named Marmaduke or Mashed Potatoes but they named him Ryan. That's too bad, Mashed Potatoes is an awesome name. I guess this little guy will have to get the extra 20% of awesomeness some other way. I'm sure he'll be fine.
Labels: real sports
5 Comments:
I played very well(compared to my usual purple monkey award abilities) in the golf tournament this weekend. I think I took 10 or 12 strokes of my game from last year. At this rate I will be champion next year. I won't be a sissy boy and not show up to the awards ceremony.
Smartast man on Aerth, you shot 10 strokes better, I shot 4 worse.
See?
Wait... all I got from this is there's a baptism on the horizon. Man, I'm out of the loop.
Brent, Michelle's getting fat in the belly. I think it's too many rind-dings, but then again, ring-ding don't kick my hand when I touch Michelle's tummy. January 15th is her due date.
I know for a fact that Dan and Nate are not losers. In fact, you're lucky they let you play golf with them, you purple monkey spanker.
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