INSTRUMENTS PART III: When Animals Stop Being Polite And Start Attacking Humans

I love music.

I like to listen to it, play it, record it, write it, hear it, etc. it.

I listen to music when I'm working at Meglo*Life , in the car, as I'm typing this (♫ Ahhhha ahhh ahhh ♫--It's a song from this post: here, - which, by the way, it now an out-of-date post because, since then, I've heard more songs.) I must have written over 5 million songs in my life, or at least 24. One is called, "You smell like boogers." I even recorded one and if I knew of a place on the internet to put it, I'd have it here for you to listen to. I play some of type musical instrument everyday. Everyday. Seriously. That's probably why I have so many. You see, I need lots of instruments so I can play one everyday. I need to play one everyday because I have lots of instruments. It's a wonderful cycle.


Here are some other instruments I have besides these and these.

When I was maybe 8 or 11, my family all pitched in and bought me a drum kit. I was so happy. I immediately played Slayer's "Dead Skin Mask." Not really-I don't think they had written that song yet. Anyway, when I was done with college, I moved out of my parent's house, but my drum kit stayed behind. Then I got married and moved into a little condo. No drums allowed. So I sold them at a tag sale.

It's actually a rather nice story:

A father and his young son stop at the tag sale and immediately, the son eyes the drums.

SON: "Daddy, Daddy! Can we get these?"

DADDY: "Hmm, son. Gee, I don't know."
He puffs on his pipe while he lounges in the recliner that was for sale too, whilst wearing his slippers.
DADDY (continued): "Say my good man, how much are you selling these for?"

ME: "$100."

DADDY: "Hmm?"

SON: "Stop acting like that Daddy, you idiot. Can we get them?"

DADDY: "Not with that attitude, you little bastard. Yeah, that's right, I'm not really your dad! Ha!, wanker."

SON: "boo hoo, boo hoo."

Well, it wasn't exactly like that. But they didn't buy the drums. They got in their minivan of terror and drove off, killing four cats in the process.

Then...maybe 45 minutes later, the dad shows up and buys the set for the kid as a surprise.
What a swell dad, huh?

So I was drumless for over 4 years. Michelle and I had a pact that when we got a house, I could get a drumset. She was true to her word.



Here's an overhead shot.


And here's a shot of me playing. I think I was playing either Jeff Buckley's "Everybody Here Wants You" or "Bat Country" by Avenged Sevenfold...I get those songs confused sometimes.


I also got a piano when we moved into the house. Actually, it came with the house. I really can't play it, but that doesn't stop me from trying. I know where the notes are, I can read music (though, I'm a little slow on the bass clef), but my fingers are used to playing guitar and guitaresque instruments (bass, mandolin, banjo, etc.)



It's probably too small to see, but in the tiny photos on the piano are two really cute kids. I can't imagine how they got so cute since, in both kids' cases (they're cousins), their parents are butt ugly. Really ugly.

I also have an accordion. I play it sometimes and make my pet monkey, Bernard, dance and collect money from our guests. It's great to do when salesmen or the oil man stop by. They get so confused, they just give him money until he goes back to the typewriter to work on Shakespeare.



Finally (for now at least, I probably will get more instruments later though), I own a nose flute. It rocks. It works by channeling air from you nose, into your mouth. Your mouth acts as the sound amplifier. The instructions should have said not to play it when you have a runny nose.



It's actually pretty small. I should have put a pen next to it for the photo. It's only about 3" tall.


Well, that's it, excluding the recording software I own, mics, amps, speakers, etc.

Rock on. \m/