Old... like 35

Last night Michelle and I went to see Minus the Bear play. While we were waiting in line to get in, we noticed the abundance of younger people also waiting to get into the show:

The slutty chick who had to speak loud enough so that everyone within 20 feet of her knew she was facebooking on her phone.

The drunken guy that kept leaning on me and repeatedly saying, "Sorry, I'm drunk." To which Michelle or I would answer, "We know, you told us that 2 minutes ago".

The skinny kid in pants that were too tight, expect in the butt, where, I presume, he kept room for crapping himself when he gets too drunk or lazy to go to the bathroom.

That was part 1.

Later during the show, while looking around for the source of someone engaging in reefer madness, while scratching my temple near my gray hairs, I commented to Michelle, "We're probably the third and fourth oldest people in this room."

That was part 2.

Since Michelle and I are both fans of Minus the Bear, we listen to them at home. Logan hears their music and has become familiar with it. During the song "Ice Monster", Michelle recalled and shared a story of how Logan responded to the lyrics of that song, "Take a step back and turn yourself around," by spinning around and saying, "I am turning around."
I told her, "We're at a concert and talking about our kids."
She said, "Yeah, we're old."
I said, "We both had dental work done today."
(I wasn't lying either.)
We had to get close to hear each other over the music, crowd noise, and the earplugs we were wearing.

That was part 3.

Later that night, when we were leaving, we came across some kid who asked where an ATM was. He didn't have any cash to pay the parking fee. Michelle gave him $2 and said, "Here you go sonny. Stay in school." (Or something close to that.) Noticing he also wore dumpy ass, tight leg pants, I told him to get some new pants. (Seriously.)
Then we got in our Buick and drove home.

That was part 3.
Oh wait I already said part 3, my memory is a little fuzzy.


PS. Did you see this post yet?

11/06/09: Friday Five

Pre-S. I know I can't count anymore...

Magnus Opum: Bands' best CDs (so far for some)

Minus the Bear - Planet of Ice (They Make Beer Commericals Like This is a close second)
Bjork - Vespertine <-- This one is probably my favorite of the bunch. Radiohead - OK Computer
Jimmie's Chicken Shack - Bring Your Own Stereo
The Mars Volta - De-Loused in the Comatorium
Soundgarden - Superunknown
Alice in Chains - Dirt
Stone Temple Pilots - Tiny Music...Songs from the Vacitan Gift Shop


That's about all the bands I have all or most of their albums. Most other bands I like I only have a few albums or only buy the songs I like.

Suck it Trebek,
Mike

Helen, you little hussy

I'm seriously considering purchasing The Fall of Troy's newest album In the Unlikely Event. I'm even thinking of getting the real CD (not just crappy mp3's --with all their digital clipping and other such limitations the average peon's ears can't detect but are there nonetheless tainting the music like the space between). Then I can lick the plastic at night before I go to sleep.

ROAR, BITE, SCRATCH

Lately, I can't stop listening to the sound of animals fighting. The snarling, the growling, the gnashing of teeth.

I find something soothing in all the ruffled feathers and torn fur.

It's probably due to the wildlife encroaching on my tamelife. Some f@#%$!* squirrels and chipmunks ate through my garage door! Little bastards.

We got some of them back by "gettin' all rednecky" on them.

Three chipmunks even got into the bucket we store bird seed in (which is in the garage). Apparently they didn't like each other very much, and one of them ate the others in their face until they died. The animal cruelty this one chipmunk displayed was appalling to me, so I had an associate of mine bust a cap in his ass.

All in all, we've finally got enough varmints to have that pot luck dinner I've been promising. Look for the invite in the mail soon!

I rock

So, remember last week when I typed about the best guitar players ever. Do you? Well I do. It was one of the best moments in my life.

Some dookie thought I was wrong about Eddie Van Halen, but who really cares, when I was totally wrong about me. I should have put me in the top tier, just like I said in my comment to myself.



That's right: I got 100% of the notes right for Bulls on Parade by Rage Against the We Suck. It was only on medium difficulty, but still pretty cool, considering I did again on My Name is Boners by Weezer.



Plus, the chicks I was when I played guitar were pretty hot for cartoon characters.

The top 5%

The other day Michelle and I were watching some show about Metal (it comes from Hell...) on VHI Classic. I pointed out how Mr. Big's ballad was so crappy but that the guitar and bass player were actually really awesome. Later, the show talked about Marilyn Mansion, and I pointed out how John 5, (who was the guitarist for Manson when show was filmed), was actually a guitar virtuoso sort of player as well. (Not really a virtuoso, but he's better than a guitar player needs to be to play for Marilyn Manson.)

So I got to wondering about who the best guitar players are. As with anything sort of rating, there has ot be some set of rules, and even then, it's still arbitary. I don't want to include people like John Williams (not the Star Wars guy, but this other guy), or Chuck Berry, even though, the things they did for guitar were/are pretty freaking awesome. I guess I'll limit the list to metalesque/rock guitar players.

Here's the list of top 5%, which I'd love some feedback on it if you're game for it. I'm sure there are people I'm forgetting or just don't know about.

Steve Vai
Paul Gilbert
Stevie Ray Vaughan
John Petrucci
Joe Satriani
Yngwie Malmsteen
Chuck Norris (Come on..., I couldn't in good conscience leave him off the list.)

Some close, but not quites:
Eddie Van Halen (I know you think I'm wrong, but really, he's awesome, but the guys in the previous section can play circles around him, and he probably can't, and never could have, played the stuff they can.)
Darrell Abbott
Marty Freidman
Buckethead
John 5


Some overrated players:
Carlos Santana
Jimmy Page


This list excluded some real great guitar players outside of the rock type genre such as:
Andre Segovia
John Williams
Wes Montgomery
Me
Tony Rice

"I'm the one who wants to be with you"

The 80's rocked.

Seriously.

Just look at these dudes (I think they are dudes?) and tell me the 80's didn't rock.


The best thing about the 80's was that bands actually had musicians in them back then. At some point in the early or mid 1990's bands started focusing on passion and emotion in their sounds and thus, popular music shifted towards feelings.

Feelings in music are great, but it still has to be music for those sounds to count, right?

Anyway, I recently realized that Paul Gilbert is one of the best guitarists ever. He is a virtuoso. He can play guitar at close to 845.2 beats per minute.

Plus, he wears a spacesuit around, which is just generally cool.

And he lived in Japan for a while, so it's probable that he's a quarter to a third ninja as well, and that's totally sweet.


I never knew back then how awesome he was. I only sort of knew of him because he was in Mr. Big, and they had that sissy hit ballad that was all over the radio, and MTV (back when MTV had music on it), and at high school dances. It was terrible.

I stumbled upon another band he was/is in called Racer X. These guys were totally 80's: big hair, leather jackets, bulge inducing ultra tight jeans, huge dangly earrings, etc.

To summarize, they rocked major ass.



I got to wondering why bands without musicians in them become popular. I recall Kim Thayil of Soundgarden commenting on a visit to a music store once. Apparently a young guitarist played circles around him there. Kim scoffed and said something like, "I made more money this year then you will your whole life, so who cares how much better than me you are."


Now, I doubt he meant to be an major asshole, and I think he made a good point: most listeners don't care if a band has ability. To be fair, I think Kim Thayil got lucky and Soundgarden only got popular enough for it matter after: a.) Nirvana, and b.) Chris Cornell learned how to play guitar and starting writing their songs.

In my experience, lots of times people have no idea what talent or ability is necessary to make certain sounds occur. Once even, a guitar player in high school demeaned Metallica because all they did was "play powerchords." Yeah sure, but they played powerchords, but they played them really, really fast and really clean. (Plus they played other things too, but this buttmunch was too busy strumming open chords to notice.)

Someone like Buckethead is a great guitarist as well, but what's it worth to him. I guess he tried to play in Guns n' Roses, but it didn't work out. I can imagine that Axl is a real dick to worth with, maybe because he has such a clear idea of what he wants out of his music. (Or maybe because he's just a dick.) Anyway, Buckethead could easily hold chops against Izzy or Slash (though Izzy can really write great songs) and he'd likely get really famous and rich if he played in Guns n' Roses long enough.

Maybe he doesn't care because he just likes making music and challenging himself. I don't know. I sometimes wonder if it's like the guy who holds the Guiness World Record for most items stuffed in his anus, or like most olympic sports. How valuable is the fact that you're the best at something if only 5 people even try (or care to try) to do it?

Now, it might sound like I'm advocating a shitass, "feelings" band like Staind. No. They suck balls. I hate them like Anakin hated Obi Wan after he cut all his extremities off. If I ever saw them, I would crap on their heads. I just wonder why Mozart can last so long, but modern talent, hard work and ability can easily be dismissed for a dude sounding like he's dropping a deuce in his pants.

Number 2!

P.S. Irony is this: as awesome is as awesome is, the hardest thing for a drummer to do is play 1 beat every second for 5 minutes straight, without a metronome, and still be on time when the 5 mintues is done. That is such a simple sounding thing, but so difficult. Go figure. I'm off to bed.

(A G-run plays in the breakground now. G-A-Bb-B-D-E-D-G.)

Friday Five 6/29/07

My iPod has over 3,000 songs in it. That's like 192 hours worth of music. I usually listen to it at work, since: a) The lady next to me talks very loud and all day long, and; b) I work about 192 hours a day.

Right now, I'm listening a song called Just Kickin' Like A Wild Donkey. It's okay.

I have a lot of different kinds of music on there from classical, jazz, real heavy metal, awesome, and even a little bluegrass.

I have a lot of favorites, but only a few real favorites. The thing is, some of my favorite albums aren't always by my favorite bands. It's actually pretty rare that I like every song on an album. There are only a few albums I have that I do.

Five albums I can almost always listen to (I don't need to be in the mood) and I pretty much like every song on the album, even though the band is probably not one of my favorites unless they are:
(the order is sort of mostly meaningful)

OK Computer - Radiohead (11 of 12 songs - Fitter Happier isn't really a song anyway)
Superunknown - Soundgarden (14 of 15 - Spoonman is just too stupid for me)
Bring Your Own Stereo - Jimmie's Chicken Shack (13 of 13)
Dirt - Alice in Chains (13 of 13)
...And Justice for All - Metallica (9 of 9)

By the way, I purposely excluded "Greatest Hits" and "Best of" albums.

P.S. I don't intend for this blog to become a weekly top five list, it's just that I haven't done too much worth writing about lately.

Firday Five

Ha ha ha...

Damn...that's some funny ship. A real knee slapper.

Word. You know that this blog is all about what I'm always doing sometimes. (Right now, I'm stratching myself and typing with only one hand.) Back to two hands.

But I wonder if all three of you actually read the blog because I type funny stuff.

Anyway. On Fridays, I'll post a list of five things. This way you'll always know that I'll update the blog at least once a week.

PS. Some Fridays I won't post a list of five things, but I'll try to do it most Fridays. And I'll spell Friday correctly in the title next time too.

Since today is Friday, I figured I'd start today.

The order is almost always meaningless, unless it isn't.

Five songs by musicians you likely haven't heard off that may be worth a listen if you might like that sort of thing:

- Cat Power -The Greatest
- The Fall of Troy-Cut Down All the Trees and Name the Streets After Them
- This Holiday Life-Firefly
- Imogen Heap-Headlock
- Coulter-Delta (Hold and Fix)
- Tin Hat Trio-Happy Hour (comes in a close sixth)

Late Tuesday

Late Tuesday is a three piece, all female band from Bellingham, Washington- a coastal city about 15 miles south of Vancouver, BC. Amidst, the folk-esque, pop rock music, the three ladies harmonize beautifully. While it's nothing special, there is a quality to their songs that makes them easy to listen to, and even enjoyable.

Some reviews claim they sound like the Indigo Girls. I really have no idea about that, but I do know that these chicks actually look like women (i.e. no mullets) and they're not even that bad looking at that.

They offer up some songs to listen to and download for free from there website, http://www.latetuesday.com/.

Apparently they play with a backup band, and every song I've heard offers more instruments than just guitar and piano (which the ladies play themselves.)

Their latest albums were released on the BlueTree Records label. I know some of their songs are available for purchase from iTunes, but I'm not sure if they are for sale at any of the record stores around the Northeast.

I think that a few of the people who might read this post would appreciate their music. They are worth checking out at least.

Seacrest, Out.

They're alive!!!!

I thought with halloweiner fast approaching, I'd do something scary...so here's a picture of my balls....!!!


You are sick for highlighting this area hoping to see a picture of my balls




Nahh... I'm just kidding with you.

You know, I like music. I like it a lot. In fact, listening to music (and most likely, playing it too) is something I do every day. The only other things I do each day are eat, breathe and shit. (Oh shit!, this blog is not PG anymore...)

So. I was thinking about bands I'd never want to see live (that's what I was always doing sometimes, especially at work) and I realized that of all my favorite bands, only two of them I'd actually enjoy seeing live: Minus the Bear, and Jimmie's Chicken Shack.

Now, you know (since you care immensely about me and what I find awesome, (why else would you visit this blog instead of going outside to play or kissing your wife(or domestic partner, you homo))) [triple parnethesises outside of mathematics!?, how unorthodox...now the sentence that last left off with "Now, you know..." begins again] that I like crazy (also commonly known to few as creative, talented and ass-kicking) bands like Bjork, Radiohead, The Sound of Animals Fighting, The Fall of Troy, and The Mars Volta, but those three bands are three bands I think I would pee pee or poo poo in my pants at. That's what's really scary: Bjork running around stage with a penguin on as she sings Where is the Line? and Mike Patton beat-boxes away ("What is it?!") They are totally nuts and make 3 minute songs into 45 minute songs. This is usually only cool from their perspective.

The bands I most enjoy live are actually bluegrass and no name jazz bands, and for one simple reason: they actually are good musicians. One time, I was wandering around Boston with my subordinate Michelle, and we happened upon some really great jazz. We listened all night, along with a few martinis. It was great. And who can rule out an awesome show in a barn on the property of the doctor who delivered you from evil (ha ha! I get it) where the bluegrass flows like wine and you can trip the mandolin player if you really wanted to.

Yeah. Music is listenable. I'd give it a shot if I were you and you've missed out so far.

Now stop reading this and go outside...one day you'll die and realize you didn't get enough sun.

Sounds are hearable...unless you're deaf

'Sup Bitch?

Remember that, huh? huh?

I haven't played guitar as much as I used to. I blame Michelle, because she let me get a drumset. Now, the only regular guitar playing I do is in bed before I fall asleep, and even then I have to listen to Michelle grumbling at me to quiet down. I should practice more, though the other day, I played the first lead part of Metallica's One fairly well. Then a string broke on Leroy, so I had to play Gunther, my metal guitar. I guess that's more fitting, since when they recorded One, Metallica was still a metal band. I used to want to have 1 milion guitars to play everyday, but now, I just want one more, a Martin D-28. Someday...

Once before, I talked about how my list of the best songs ever is getting out of date. It's not that those songs aren't good anymore, it's just that I hear new songs that I never heard before until I heard them, and I like them a lot, or a little or not all at, or somewhere in between. I listen to music a lot, except when I'm not. Here's some for you to try to find so you can hear them too, if you listen, and aren't deaf. Don't be surprised if you didn't like any of this. Not everyone can be as cool as me.

Minus the Bear - This Ain't a Surfin' Movie
The drum beat during the verse seems simple, but keeping straight quarter notes on the hi-hats over the kick and snare line is not easy. This song reminds me of summer and chilling out and firing bottle rocket's at small children. Well, not the last one, I guess. This song can be heard here. Just press the right arrows until you get to the This Ain't a Surfin' Movie. I actually bought this album, and this band has become one of my new favorites. Seriously, they rock my world.

Say Anything - Alive With the Glory of Love
This type of music would typically fall into my catch all category: crappity crap. But this song isn't too bad. It's basically a love song, but not really a ballad. It reminds me of a few stories I'm writting that are about love-sort of. (Sidenote: Man, I need to write more often. I forgot how much fun it is.) Anyway, you can hear this song on the band's website. Click the band's name above.

The Maple State - We Swear By The Light Life
Four Britons, probably with pretty faces and bad teeth. They sound good, and I've only heard a rough demo quality mix of this song. Interesting drum beats, good blend of keys and guitar and mildly pleasing lyrics. Almost sounds like something from the 80's. You can hear it here last time I checked.

Death by Stereo - Unstoppable
Death by Stereo is a band that gets me so pumped up. They have freakin' sweet ass drum beats, awesomely powerful guitar riffs, sweet solos, and ear-blistering vocals. In fact, the other day, I was listening to them and I got so pumped up that I went outside and chopped a tree down. With my wiener. Then I ate the whole thing, including the squirrels that were living in it. Damn, that was sweet! Hardcore metal reminds me of a dude taking a crap that's sort of stuck. Yeah! Plus, the drummer of this band went to my high school. I used to beat him up with my sideburns, that's probably why he plays drums so pissed off-ish. (Na, I'm just kidding, I never beat him up. He was a few grades ahead of me. I think I saw him in the halls once. I think his name is Elmer, or Rufus, or something.) Hear some of their songs at this site.

Late Tuesday - Simply Beautiful
These are three chicks with a back-up band. I think the gals play guitar and piano too. They sing nice and it brings out the softer side of Mike. The side that doesn't ninja old ladies too hard and doesn't throw chipmunks at the birds at the birdfeeder. If yoo go to their site, you can click on their media player in the top right corner and hear some of their songs, including Simply Beautiful, which, when you hear it, you agree, was written about me.

Smell ya later.

Minus the Bear

Minus the Bear is a rock-type, indie band from Seattle, Washington. For some reason, all the music I find for this site comes from the west coast.

They have been around since 2001, but I recently heard about them after they released their 5^th album, Menos el Oso.

They write good stuff with nice drum beats, interesting guitar riffs, and clever song names such as Hey! Is that a Ninja Up there? or Lemurs, Man, Lemurs. the only thing lacking a bit is the vocalist. It's not too bad, but it took be a little while to get used to the drab tone and barely minuscule amount of infection in his voice. Still, it's nice music to listen to. I've been listening to it a lot lately.

Borrowing their idea, click on these symbols to hear some music of theirs: %$...$%#$"$^*!))))("""" , or click on these crazy words to hear other stuff by them: booble huncha huncha!

Bang bang, thump bang, crash

'Sup Bitch?

So I ordered new cymbals. That's all I'm going to type about, so if you don't care about cymbals,
get lost.

Right now, they are somewhere between Shawnee, Kansas and Norfolk, Connecticut. I should get them on Monday. Then you better watch out, cause I'm going to play a sick double-bass fill with the new splash that will make glass shatter and the fillings explode out of your teeth.

I got all Zildjian cymbals, mostly because they are good, and there is a plethora of info about them available.

From biggest to smallest:
20" K custom dry ride
16" A custom crash
14" A custom crash
13" A series quick beat hi-hats
10" K custom dark splash

By accident I ordered Z custom crash cymbals. Z custom cymbals are heavy and loud, great for metal and heavy rock. Since I play in my basement, I don't need gong-sounding finishes on my cymbals. The A custom cymbals are more shimmering and more versatile. I'm going to return the Z custom cymbals and get A customs, so I didn't bother typing about the Z custom cymbals above.

bye.

This Holiday Life

This Holiday Life is a 4 piece indie label band from Encinitas, California, which is the "Surfer's Paradise on San Diego's North Coast"

I'm not sure what kind of music this. It's sort of alternative, rock, a little janglely and kind of classic, but not quite. I guess I don't really care. I just like to listen to it.

To be honest, I've only listened to the free songs that are available on the internet, but I do have to say, it's pretty good. I personally like the songs Don't Stand Up, Digital, and Firefly the best so far.

Their site is www.thisholidaylife.com.

Give them a listen at purevolume, (www.purevolume.com/thisholidaylife) or at myspace (www.myspace.com/thisholidaylife)

Peace out.

INSTRUMENTS PART III: When Animals Stop Being Polite And Start Attacking Humans

I love music.

I like to listen to it, play it, record it, write it, hear it, etc. it.

I listen to music when I'm working at Meglo*Life , in the car, as I'm typing this (♫ Ahhhha ahhh ahhh ♫--It's a song from this post: here, - which, by the way, it now an out-of-date post because, since then, I've heard more songs.) I must have written over 5 million songs in my life, or at least 24. One is called, "You smell like boogers." I even recorded one and if I knew of a place on the internet to put it, I'd have it here for you to listen to. I play some of type musical instrument everyday. Everyday. Seriously. That's probably why I have so many. You see, I need lots of instruments so I can play one everyday. I need to play one everyday because I have lots of instruments. It's a wonderful cycle.


Here are some other instruments I have besides these and these.

When I was maybe 8 or 11, my family all pitched in and bought me a drum kit. I was so happy. I immediately played Slayer's "Dead Skin Mask." Not really-I don't think they had written that song yet. Anyway, when I was done with college, I moved out of my parent's house, but my drum kit stayed behind. Then I got married and moved into a little condo. No drums allowed. So I sold them at a tag sale.

It's actually a rather nice story:

A father and his young son stop at the tag sale and immediately, the son eyes the drums.

SON: "Daddy, Daddy! Can we get these?"

DADDY: "Hmm, son. Gee, I don't know."
He puffs on his pipe while he lounges in the recliner that was for sale too, whilst wearing his slippers.
DADDY (continued): "Say my good man, how much are you selling these for?"

ME: "$100."

DADDY: "Hmm?"

SON: "Stop acting like that Daddy, you idiot. Can we get them?"

DADDY: "Not with that attitude, you little bastard. Yeah, that's right, I'm not really your dad! Ha!, wanker."

SON: "boo hoo, boo hoo."

Well, it wasn't exactly like that. But they didn't buy the drums. They got in their minivan of terror and drove off, killing four cats in the process.

Then...maybe 45 minutes later, the dad shows up and buys the set for the kid as a surprise.
What a swell dad, huh?

So I was drumless for over 4 years. Michelle and I had a pact that when we got a house, I could get a drumset. She was true to her word.



Here's an overhead shot.


And here's a shot of me playing. I think I was playing either Jeff Buckley's "Everybody Here Wants You" or "Bat Country" by Avenged Sevenfold...I get those songs confused sometimes.


I also got a piano when we moved into the house. Actually, it came with the house. I really can't play it, but that doesn't stop me from trying. I know where the notes are, I can read music (though, I'm a little slow on the bass clef), but my fingers are used to playing guitar and guitaresque instruments (bass, mandolin, banjo, etc.)



It's probably too small to see, but in the tiny photos on the piano are two really cute kids. I can't imagine how they got so cute since, in both kids' cases (they're cousins), their parents are butt ugly. Really ugly.

I also have an accordion. I play it sometimes and make my pet monkey, Bernard, dance and collect money from our guests. It's great to do when salesmen or the oil man stop by. They get so confused, they just give him money until he goes back to the typewriter to work on Shakespeare.



Finally (for now at least, I probably will get more instruments later though), I own a nose flute. It rocks. It works by channeling air from you nose, into your mouth. Your mouth acts as the sound amplifier. The instructions should have said not to play it when you have a runny nose.



It's actually pretty small. I should have put a pen next to it for the photo. It's only about 3" tall.


Well, that's it, excluding the recording software I own, mics, amps, speakers, etc.

Rock on. \m/

INSTRUMENTS PART II: Freddy's Revenge

So, my first electric guitar was Thaddeus (R.I.P.)
He was destroyed by a horrible event--me. See, Thaddeus was made of plywood, and I thought I could make my own guitar out of plywood. So I took Thaddeus apart, but never rebuilt him. He sure kept the family warm that cold January night though.

Thaddeus came from Grandma, I think. Once she found out I was into guitar she started buying any cheap, tag-sale guitar she could find. She's very musical, as is my Paw and his brother, so she was probably excited I was playing music too.

Thaddeus looked a little like this:


When I turned 16, my dad took me to the East Coast Music mall. There, we found Ned:


Ned is since retired. He is an Ibanez EX something or other. I played him for a long time (all the way through college.)

Then I got Leroy:


Leroy is a Schecter Omen 6. He was a relatively cheap $300. For the most part, I try to stay away from guitars under $500. Maybe, just maybe, if I play a guitar under $500 and it sounds, feels, and looks great, I'll buy it, but in real life, guitars aren't cheap, and as with everything else-you get what you pay for.

Leroy was purchased in the flesh. He felt right, sounded good, and looked pretty cool too. (Satin Walnut Stain) Of all the guitars I have, he stays in tune the best- and he's the cheapest of my active guitars. He's tuned 1/2 step flat so I can play along with Guns 'n Roses, Alice in Chains, Coheed and Cambria, and yo' momma. Plus, the new Omen 6 guitars have a through the body string design (which I don't care for) while Leroy has a stopbar tailpiece.

Next I got Cederic:


Note that his name is not Cedric, it is Cederic--there is an extra syllable in there.

He is a Gibson SG Standard, and the only guitar I own (for now) that was made in the USA. Therefore, he was also the most expensive. He is so cool. I got him when we still lived in a condo. One time I wailed some sweet riffs on him so loud and awesome, that my neighbors cat crapped it's pants. True story.

Lastly, for now, I got this yet to be named guitar:


For now, I temporarily refer to this guitar as "With myself."

Sometimes Michelle says, "What the hell kind of thrash metal was that?"
And I answer, "I was just playing With myself."

Or she'll ask, "What are going to do this afternoon once all your chores are done?"
And I answer, "I'm going to play With myself."

Once her boss came over for dinner she asked, "Michael, do you have any hobbies?"
And I answered, "Sure do! Do you want to see me play With myself? Or I can play loudly and you can just listen from here?"

Or just the other day, Michelle said, "Why are you taking so long in the shower?"
And I answered, "Because I'm playing with myself, and when I get out I'm going to play guitar."

I've found the only problem with keeping the guitars down in the basement is that it's cold down there, and sometimes, my hands get cold, and it's just doesn't feel right when I play With myself.
I could go on and on...

Somewhere along the line, I got an electric base from my uncle. (The same uncle that gave me the up right bass, and is the son of my grandma that gave me Thaddeus.)


This bass is named Haave. It's pronounced like slave, but without the sl- and with an h-.
Haave is a 1987 re-issue of a 1967 Fender Jazz bass. He plays well, but the pick-ups have seen better days. Rather than try to replace them, I'd like to get a new bass.

Also, I'd like to get a hollowbody electric guitar to play jazz with. I'm not sure what kind yet-but not a Jay Turser.

Finally, I want to build one for myself, and (in addition to the new electric bass) that'll be it for electric guitars and basses.

Here's one last shot of the whole gang:

l to r: Cederic, Leroy, Haave, Ned, unnamed for now.

It's funny that when I took the picture, there were shadows that you just can't see now, but, I said to Michelle that the shadows made it look like I had a lot of guitars. Then she said, "You do have a lot of guitars." But she was wrong. Well, there you have it. I think I'm going to play With myself now.

INSTRUMENTS: PART 1

Keeping with the original intention of this blog, this post is to keep everyone up to date with my acoustic instruments. (I'll do the electric instruments later, after I get the Jackson.)

I'll start at the beginning, because that's a good place to start.

The first acoustic I ever played was my dad's Guild, but I have no picture of that and it wasn't mine, nor is it a guitar on my wishlist. The first acoustic guitar I owned was Chico.



Chico is an aptly named Spanish Classical Gianinni Student Guitar. He was built in 1969.
See:

You need to look inbetween the B and G strings (second and third from the right.)
Chico's so old that I'm afraid to tune him up to standard tuning, so the strings are actually the Bb and Gb strings. I got him from a guy my mom used to babysit, or from my Grandma-I can't remember which. If he's from Grandma, she got him at a tag sale for $10.

I played Chico all throughout college. He was my favorite guitar, but now he's retired. See how much he's worn:


Since Chico retired, I got Hector. I only have one picture of him because he is relatively new. Hector is an Ibanez Classical. He has a pick up in the bridge. He can never fill the shoes of Chico. Never! (But I still like him.)


I got my steel string acoustic-electric from my paw as a gift, which is, of course, the sweetest gift anyone can give you. This guitar is a Johnson Dreadnought Guitar. I had a hard time coming up with a name for this little fella, and then one day Michelle and I were watching Bloomberg TV. (We do that sometimes because we are strange.) The guy on TV was talking about securities involving piers and shipping and such. Michelle burst out laughing and said, "What a funny name!" Of course, under the commentator's picture was not his name, but what he was talking about: Wharf Holdings. Thus, this guitar was named Wharf Holdings (unlike the Star Trek 'Worf') to commemorate her silliness. I tune him 1/2 step flat so I can play along with G 'n R and Alice in Chains, or Coheed and Cambria.


Last year, I bought my first high end acoustic (but not my last.) I was insprired by my dad's Guild, so I bought a Guild too. I love this guitar more than Red Fusion. It is not acoustic-electric, but I have Wharf for that. I tune it up to 'concert pitch' so I can play along with Tony Rice (yeah right) and my other peer master guitarists.


You can probably recall the effort I had to put into to name this guitar.

That's all the acoustic guitars I have--for now. Here's a picture of my father's mandolin. He let me borrow it for now, but if he forgets, I'm gonna keep it for longer. I call this little guy Skinny.


Also, I am indefinitely borrowing my uncle's acoustic double bass. This beast is still missing a string and I need to call Von Schmidt to get the bridge replaced, but I still tune up the remaining strings sometimes and pluck some jazz or jam out to some swing. This is simply known as 'The Reverend.'


Here's a shot of the whole crew:


Next time, I'll show you my electric instruments.

Drums on the way!

Soon my drumset will arrive. I am going to bang on it every day and every night.
ti-ki ta ti-ki ta, ta ta ta. trip-le-ti, trip-le-ti, trip-le-ti


So the other day I was walking across the vast expanse of my workplace parking lot and after about 10 minutes, I had caught up to a woman on her cell phone.
I happened to have my phone in my pocket (I usually just leave it in the car) so I pulled it out and began to respond to what she was saying as if we were talking to each other on the phone. It went something like this:

Woman: So, you're certain that John can make it?
Me: I've never been more sure of something in my life.
Woman: No, he has an appointment.
Me: Then why did you ask if he could make it?

At this point she glances at me and steps to the side a little, moving towards her car.

Woman: Yeah, she said she could take the kids.
Me: She better rent a minivan then since we have 5 of them.

She reaches into her purse and pulls out her keys. I continue to walk towards my car, but slow down a little.

Woman: I think this guy next to me is pretending to talk to me on the phone, he's responding to everything I say.
Me: He must be incredibly witty, clever and handsome.

At this point she cracks a smile, opens her door, and starts to get into her car.

Woman: Okay, I have to go now.
Me: Alright, bye now.

She shuts her door and I continue on towards my car. Moments later, she drives by me as I continue towards my car. She looks at me through the window and shakes her head. I wave.

I encourage you to try this some time. It's fun.

New House, new ... drum set!

This is an exact copy of an e-mail I sent to my master, Michelle.

"I asked Mike about the mower.
He said:
Total cost = $0. I'm not using it. You'll have to change the oil and maybe the blade.
I think it's this model:
http://www.sears.com/sr/javasr/product.do?BV_UseBVCookie =Yes&vertical=LAWN&pid =07138886000&subcat=Mowers%2C+Rear+Bag"

Then he said, I can buy his drumset for $500. It's this one:
http://www.americanmusical.com/item--i-PEA-FX725C-DB--d-2.html

The one I was looking at is this one:
http://www.americanmusical.com/item--i-TAM-SS52H6C- BLK--d-2.html

The main difference is the "not Mike's" set has an extra cymbal, and a more ideal cymbal selection (16" crash and 20" ride rather than just a 18" crash/ride.)
(I prefer the 20" ride to the 18" ride, and the 16" crash has more punch.)
But it costs $100 more.
But if I buy Mike's set, a cymbal and stand will cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $100 or more anyway.

At some point, I want to upgrade to Zildjian cymbals anyway.
http://www.americanmusical.com/item--i-ZIL-ZBTC4P.html
I really think I want the extra cymbal as soon as possible (it does make a difference)
I could:
1. Buy Mike's set...................................... -$500
2. Buy a Zildjian cymbal package................... -$200
3. Sell the 2 cymbals from Mike's set at Daddy's.. +$50 (I'm guessing)
4. Buy a boom stand for the extra cymbal......... -$50
TOTAL SPENT:.......................................... approx. $700.
OR
1. Buy the TAMA set brand new....................... $600
2. Buy the Zildjian upgrade down the road.......... $200
Total spent: ...........$600 for now, $200 later (like next summer or something.)

At the very least, when we (I) go to get the mower, I play the drums and see what I think.



Finally, as I side note, you might want to ask for this for Christmas or something...
http://www.americanmusical.com/item--i-TAM-SPP518 --brand-263.html "