Autumn
So today is the first day of fall. I like the fall. I like chips.
The air is cooler, crisper and easier to breath than paste or water. (Though paste tastes better.) There's apple picking, Thanksgiving, hiking, pumpkins, fairs, raindrops on roses, and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles, and warm woolen mittens, brown paper packages, tied up with strings... uh, sorry...
Also, fall = football and (finally a season that's not Mrs. Dash) the start of NHL hockey. I think I might buy the hockey package from the cable company so I can watch every Thrashers game then sue them when I fail another exam. Those stupid jerks.
Don't ever read the news articles that I post on the side in the "In the News" links.
Just don't. It wouldn't be right.
So, every fall, my organization (I stole this reference style from whitey blacks), has an annual fund drive with a charity. I won't refer to it by name, but I'll tell you it rhymes with "You Knighted Whey."
Here's the deal:
1. They start by promoting the fund drive with these fancy leaflets that are more glossy than Woody Harrelson's eyes, and more ornately bound than my diploma. (Granted, I graduated from here)
2. You give them money and then you get special recognition, like "The President's Award" or "Distinguished Giver," or "Crazy Ninja From Hell."
(Okay, I made up the last one.)
3. Then they publish this other leaflet, just as fancy as the first, that lists who gave money and groups them according to how much they gave.
The head suits in my organization (ha! I love calling it that) all promote this fund drive like crazy, which makes me think it's their way of lessening the guilt they feel from making beaucoup bucks and buying Porsche SUVs and 5,500 sq. ft. houses overlooking the valley. Especially since my organization is stereotypically the fat pig, capitalist, eat your babies, type of group that most Americans distrust. (Yes, I'm a Catholic Priest...or, Yes, I'm a lawyer...or Yes, I work for FOXnews...or Yes, I'm a fortune teller...or Yes, I'm crazy book face, give me some candy!)
I imagine the fancy leaflets cost money to make. Even if it was done for free, those people making them could have done something else and got paid, then donated the money, right?
Don't get me wrong, donating is good. I'm glad people give, and to any charity. If they didn't then I'd have to (or at least, I'd be more compelled to.) But it seems to me that this particular fund raising event (not the actual charity) held at my organization is in some way directed towards relieving guilt and boasting about giving and goodness. I'd rather anonymously donate (which I probably can do with this fund drive, but it's easier to complain), which would cost less money (producing the brochure, having some weinie making sure my name's spelled correctly for the President's Award, printing the who's who of the donors., etc.) and put more money into the hands of those who can help. It's like when the "Police Brotherhood Against Crimes Against People Who Are Against Bad Guys" calls your house and askes you to donate. They give you the whole schpeel and when you ask how much actually goes to the police, they either don't know, or say something less than 15%, seriously, read on.
Here's a real story of what actually happened to my master:
Michelle: How much actually goes to the police?
Police Fund Raiser Dude: Uh, 100%? (I'm Ron Burgandy?)
Michelle: So you're working for free?
Police Fund Raiser Dude: Uh, no. Let me check with my manager.
Moments past like sand through an hour glass, so are the days of our-
Police Fund Raiser Dude: (interrupting) It's between 8% and 12%.
(The last part is not an actual quote, but a still accurate, paraphrased quote.)
So, my way of sticking it to the man is to donate to charities where my organization has promised to match my donation. Then they have to shell out bucks without getting a fancy leaflet. Plus, I crap in the hallways sometimes too, but that's mainly coincidence.
Wow, looking back I realized I sounded like ChiTe, or Tom Cruise. I'm going to jump on my couch and stir up the aliens living inbetween the cushions so we can stop the insanity.
Anyway, here's a diagram of my drum layout as it is now. I only need (send cash to me) to buy two more cymbals to have a set worthy of playing. So far, I've had the set 2 months and refuse to touch it. I just need an 18" crash and a 20" China cymbal. (Just send cash, I want to pick them out myself.)
Click on the picture to get a larger view, (I mean it, it's large), where you can see the specs as well.
I have no idea what it has to do with fall, but two toilets magically appeared outside of my garage today too.
Ah, autumn. Pretty soon I'll eat apples again, even if only for a day.
The air is cooler, crisper and easier to breath than paste or water. (Though paste tastes better.) There's apple picking, Thanksgiving, hiking, pumpkins, fairs, raindrops on roses, and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles, and warm woolen mittens, brown paper packages, tied up with strings... uh, sorry...
Also, fall = football and (finally a season that's not Mrs. Dash) the start of NHL hockey. I think I might buy the hockey package from the cable company so I can watch every Thrashers game then sue them when I fail another exam. Those stupid jerks.
Don't ever read the news articles that I post on the side in the "In the News" links.
Just don't. It wouldn't be right.
So, every fall, my organization (I stole this reference style from whitey blacks), has an annual fund drive with a charity. I won't refer to it by name, but I'll tell you it rhymes with "You Knighted Whey."
Here's the deal:
1. They start by promoting the fund drive with these fancy leaflets that are more glossy than Woody Harrelson's eyes, and more ornately bound than my diploma. (Granted, I graduated from here)
2. You give them money and then you get special recognition, like "The President's Award" or "Distinguished Giver," or "Crazy Ninja From Hell."
(Okay, I made up the last one.)
3. Then they publish this other leaflet, just as fancy as the first, that lists who gave money and groups them according to how much they gave.
The head suits in my organization (ha! I love calling it that) all promote this fund drive like crazy, which makes me think it's their way of lessening the guilt they feel from making beaucoup bucks and buying Porsche SUVs and 5,500 sq. ft. houses overlooking the valley. Especially since my organization is stereotypically the fat pig, capitalist, eat your babies, type of group that most Americans distrust. (Yes, I'm a Catholic Priest...or, Yes, I'm a lawyer...or Yes, I work for FOXnews...or Yes, I'm a fortune teller...or Yes, I'm crazy book face, give me some candy!)
I imagine the fancy leaflets cost money to make. Even if it was done for free, those people making them could have done something else and got paid, then donated the money, right?
Don't get me wrong, donating is good. I'm glad people give, and to any charity. If they didn't then I'd have to (or at least, I'd be more compelled to.) But it seems to me that this particular fund raising event (not the actual charity) held at my organization is in some way directed towards relieving guilt and boasting about giving and goodness. I'd rather anonymously donate (which I probably can do with this fund drive, but it's easier to complain), which would cost less money (producing the brochure, having some weinie making sure my name's spelled correctly for the President's Award, printing the who's who of the donors., etc.) and put more money into the hands of those who can help. It's like when the "Police Brotherhood Against Crimes Against People Who Are Against Bad Guys" calls your house and askes you to donate. They give you the whole schpeel and when you ask how much actually goes to the police, they either don't know, or say something less than 15%, seriously, read on.
Here's a real story of what actually happened to my master:
Michelle: How much actually goes to the police?
Police Fund Raiser Dude: Uh, 100%? (I'm Ron Burgandy?)
Michelle: So you're working for free?
Police Fund Raiser Dude: Uh, no. Let me check with my manager.
Moments past like sand through an hour glass, so are the days of our-
Police Fund Raiser Dude: (interrupting) It's between 8% and 12%.
(The last part is not an actual quote, but a still accurate, paraphrased quote.)
So, my way of sticking it to the man is to donate to charities where my organization has promised to match my donation. Then they have to shell out bucks without getting a fancy leaflet. Plus, I crap in the hallways sometimes too, but that's mainly coincidence.
Wow, looking back I realized I sounded like ChiTe, or Tom Cruise. I'm going to jump on my couch and stir up the aliens living inbetween the cushions so we can stop the insanity.
Anyway, here's a diagram of my drum layout as it is now. I only need (send cash to me) to buy two more cymbals to have a set worthy of playing. So far, I've had the set 2 months and refuse to touch it. I just need an 18" crash and a 20" China cymbal. (Just send cash, I want to pick them out myself.)
Click on the picture to get a larger view, (I mean it, it's large), where you can see the specs as well.
I have no idea what it has to do with fall, but two toilets magically appeared outside of my garage today too.
Ah, autumn. Pretty soon I'll eat apples again, even if only for a day.
5 Comments:
There's really aliens there? I was just joking! When I get home, I'm going to check it out and see if I can get one to come out of hiding. Sweet!
Who's Edgar?
He's a little rhino that was ostracized by the other rhinos, so he ran away. He Lives on our couch now. Don't sit on him.
I won't sit on him. Can take him home?
It is kind of weird that Mike and Michelle will talk back and forth to each other on Mike's Blog. They live together. Mike must be beating his drums all the time and playing with his toys. ON another note who is this crazy mom person?
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