It's got all the gizzards and buzzards...

Since I work on the top floor of the massive Meglo*Life office building in the urban jungle that is Wheathog, CT, I often take the elevator up to my spacious 3,000 square inch cubicle after I workout out at lunch, lifting 588 ml water jugs. (Sometimes the jugs have soda in them, though.)

The other day I was going up and when I got to the top floor I noticed some ugly lady waiting to take the elevator down to the lobby. I saw her and she farted, which angered me, so I pushed all the floor buttons before I left the elevator car. Ha! Now TurtleBird has to stop at every floor. Lazy wench!

Later, I was going to take the elevator down, but as I was waiting, the door opened and TurtleBird walked out. I quickly ran away, I could tell she was working on another juicy one. I took the stairs down.

I left work because Michelle was in the neighborhood, so she called me, and we went out and I bought a new car.

Here's a picture of it.


That's me in the driver's seat with my driving gloves on!

It's kind of sad though. My old car, a 2000 Dodge Stratus SE, is still a nice car, and it runs great for me. I never had any major problems. The worse thing that happened was that the outside tierod ends broke on both sides of car within a year of each other. And that really wasn't a big deal to fix since my dad helped (i.e. I watched him fix them.)

Now I just need to find someone buy AKCFR from me for $64,565,468.98 or $3,500, whichever is closer to the actual price I'm selling it for ($3,501) without going over.

Hey, be sure to help control the pet population. Have your pets spayed or neutered. While you're at it, have your children spayed or neutered too. That'll control the population of people who are related to, and possibly just as ugly looking as, you.