This is Darryl, and my other brother Darryl...

When we're out and about with the twins, I'm totally shocked by how often people ask if they are twins. Seriously? You can't tell? What do you think they are? Idiots.

Rather than let loose a string of obscenities at the obviously retarded questioner, Michelle and I have resorted to getting as much entertainment out of it as possible.

DUMBASS: Are those twins?
ME: Oh no, one is almost 2, but he's a midget.

STUPIDSHIT: Are those twins?
MICHELLE: No, they're actually 9 months apart. I didn't think you could get pregnant having sex in the maternity ward.

ASSMOUTH: Are they twins?
MICHELLE: No they're triplets.
ASSMOUTH: Oh, the third one's with someone else?
MICHELLE: No, he's right... (frantically) oh no!!! Oh no!! Someone stole my baby!

FARTKNOCKER: Are those twins?
ME: No, only one is a real baby, the other is a robot.
(One time I tried this the FARTKNOCKER actually replied, "No, seriously, are they twins?" Stupid...)

ASSYNUTS: Do twins run in your family?
MICHELLE: Well, my husband and I are twins.
ASSYNUTS: Really? That's amazing, you and your husband, both twins.
MICHELLE: Yeah. Our mommy was praying for twins and she done got 'em.

ANUSSNIFFER: Are they twins?
ME: I not really sure.

SCROTUMCHEESE: Are those twins?
MICHELLE: No, we bought one.

RABBITHUMPER: Are they twins?
MICHELLE: Huh? What the f.... how do these keep in my shopping cart?

BOOGEREATER: Are those twins?
ME: Are what twins?
BOOGEREATER: Those babies.
ME: What babies?

Got any ideas? Let me know.

S.I.T.