The nothing is coming.

Vacation is 9 days away. I can't wait. I will relax, and write stories and hunt buffalo in the nude.


I think I'm most looking forward to nothing.

Really. Nothing.

Doing nothing. Watching nothing. Thinking about nothing.

It'll be great. I'll wake up in the morning wearing nothing. Then I'll go for a jog, because everyone knows, the three most important days of the year to actually exercise are the first three days of vacation. I'll try to find a busy road to run the wrong way on, running inside of the white line, and crossing streets without looking. That's fun stuff.

I plan on not planning anything for vacation, but since I planned on that, I actually let myself down. I hate it when I'm actually able to do as I planned, which was to not plan, but since I did plan on not planning, I actually wasn't able to do as I planned. Geez... good thing I wasn't planning on thinking.

Maybe I'll play golf too. I like golf. Golf is a fun sport.

I like chips.

Bill and Sue, July 8th 1997

Here at Meglo*Life, we have bulletin boards throughout the building for the employees to use. People can create ads for things for sale, carpooling, free stuff, etc. They get updated every 2 weeks or so.

The other day, I noticed one announcement where someone was looking for a lost men's wedding band, with the names and wedding date engraved on it. So I called the number up and a guy answered.

GUY: Hello?

ME: Hey there. I think I found your lost wedding band.

GUY: Really? That's great! I was afraid my wife was going to kill me... (chuckles a little)

ME: Sue?

GUY: What?

ME: Your wife, Sue?

GUY: Uh...

ME: Sue was going to kill you?

GUY: (silence)

ME: Anyway I have your ring. "Bill and Sue, July 8th, 1997"

GUY: My wife's not named Sue.

ME: Then why do you have "Sue" engraved on your wedding band?

GUY: It's obviously not my wedding band.

ME: Oh, geez. Sorry, I'm a little dense today. No wonder you sounded confused. I'm sorry.

GUY: That's alright. It's weird that some other guy also lost his ring.

ME: Yeah, and as coincidences go, this guy has the same anniversary as me. (laughing a little)

GUY: Oh wow, really? Isn't that something!

ME: And my wife's name is Sue, too!

GUY: Huh?

ME: What a minute, this is my ring! Good thing I didn't lose it like some kinda knucklehead. My wife would kill me.

GUY: You know, you're a real ass.

More fun here, here, here, or here.