They're alive!!!!

I thought with halloweiner fast approaching, I'd do something scary...so here's a picture of my balls....!!!


You are sick for highlighting this area hoping to see a picture of my balls




Nahh... I'm just kidding with you.

You know, I like music. I like it a lot. In fact, listening to music (and most likely, playing it too) is something I do every day. The only other things I do each day are eat, breathe and shit. (Oh shit!, this blog is not PG anymore...)

So. I was thinking about bands I'd never want to see live (that's what I was always doing sometimes, especially at work) and I realized that of all my favorite bands, only two of them I'd actually enjoy seeing live: Minus the Bear, and Jimmie's Chicken Shack.

Now, you know (since you care immensely about me and what I find awesome, (why else would you visit this blog instead of going outside to play or kissing your wife(or domestic partner, you homo))) [triple parnethesises outside of mathematics!?, how unorthodox...now the sentence that last left off with "Now, you know..." begins again] that I like crazy (also commonly known to few as creative, talented and ass-kicking) bands like Bjork, Radiohead, The Sound of Animals Fighting, The Fall of Troy, and The Mars Volta, but those three bands are three bands I think I would pee pee or poo poo in my pants at. That's what's really scary: Bjork running around stage with a penguin on as she sings Where is the Line? and Mike Patton beat-boxes away ("What is it?!") They are totally nuts and make 3 minute songs into 45 minute songs. This is usually only cool from their perspective.

The bands I most enjoy live are actually bluegrass and no name jazz bands, and for one simple reason: they actually are good musicians. One time, I was wandering around Boston with my subordinate Michelle, and we happened upon some really great jazz. We listened all night, along with a few martinis. It was great. And who can rule out an awesome show in a barn on the property of the doctor who delivered you from evil (ha ha! I get it) where the bluegrass flows like wine and you can trip the mandolin player if you really wanted to.

Yeah. Music is listenable. I'd give it a shot if I were you and you've missed out so far.

Now stop reading this and go outside...one day you'll die and realize you didn't get enough sun.

New Job

Not for me. I still work as a senior vice junior duke associate brigadier admiral of production at Meglo*Life. But today is Michelle's first day in her new job: Domestic Engineer.

I know some of you have no idea what it is that a domestic engineer does, so I figured I include a link to the American Society of Domestic Engineer.

htp://www.domesticengineersofamerica.orge/rules_fo_de_biotches

I think this is an exciting career change for her and hope it brings her an interesting challenge.

IV

When our story is told,
people will grow warm in their hearts,
they will laugh, they will smile,
they will weep with joy,
and they will ask themselves,

“Why can’t my life be so happy?”


This is the story I want to tell
because if I do, they will surely fall in love with you,
just as I have,
and I do,
each day,
over
and over again.

Marshall Brain

I'm sure you've heard of How Stuff Works. If not, you should check it out.

Anyway, the guy who started HowStuffWorks.com as a hobby back in 1998 is actually really named Marshall Brain. Weird huh? What's more, he's the kind of nut who thinks that by 2055 robots will have forced 50% of the US population into unemployment. It's always easy for the rich to be philanthropists and even easier for them to suggest you do the same.

But, while his ideas may seem a little out their, he's a smart guy and backs up all his ideas with statistical data, trended information and well thought out postulates.

Give it a read and then get out of the unskilled labor field.

Robotic Nation

4th Annual Short Course Invitational

This past weekend we played the 4^th annual Northwestern Connecticut Short Course Invitational. Unfortunately, we played with the fewest golfers yet. I blame this on the fact that more people didn't play. Mark won with a 37, becoming the first player to win twice. He also had the fewest putts. I had the closest to the pin and purple monkey. Nate and Dan won nothing...Losers.

Next year, I'm going to explicitly plan the event as a golf tournament and dinner to follow so people can't cheese out of attending the after party because their wife wants them to finish remodeling the bathroom. Next year, if you don't attend the award ceremony, you get no awards, and your score is disqualified, and everyone else shall call you 'Nancy' or 'Sissy Boy', or 'P*ssy Whipped'. Ha! When Michelle tells me to paint the ceiling or fix the shelves in the pantry, I say, "Get in the kitchen and bake me a chicken pot pie!" She always listens 'cause she knows what's good for her.

Next year, I'll strategically plan my child's baptism on the same weekend as the golf tournament, so when people come to the state for the baby, I can make them play golf too. I will tell them that they can only show they care about the baby by playing golf and if they don't play golf, they shouldn't bother coming to the baptism, but instead, just give me the presents for the baby then go home, because they obviously don't really care--those heartless bastards.

Yeah, that'll be cool.


Speaking of babies, Randy has one now. I thought he was going to be named Marmaduke or Mashed Potatoes but they named him Ryan. That's too bad, Mashed Potatoes is an awesome name. I guess this little guy will have to get the extra 20% of awesomeness some other way. I'm sure he'll be fine.