ROAR, BITE, SCRATCH

Lately, I can't stop listening to the sound of animals fighting. The snarling, the growling, the gnashing of teeth.

I find something soothing in all the ruffled feathers and torn fur.

It's probably due to the wildlife encroaching on my tamelife. Some f@#%$!* squirrels and chipmunks ate through my garage door! Little bastards.

We got some of them back by "gettin' all rednecky" on them.

Three chipmunks even got into the bucket we store bird seed in (which is in the garage). Apparently they didn't like each other very much, and one of them ate the others in their face until they died. The animal cruelty this one chipmunk displayed was appalling to me, so I had an associate of mine bust a cap in his ass.

All in all, we've finally got enough varmints to have that pot luck dinner I've been promising. Look for the invite in the mail soon!

Build it Smaller

I'm a fairly creative person. One time, I invented hammers by punching nails into wood.

The point is that I like things which I find likable. Like country fried steak, Stars Wars, and crotchless panties.

Anyway, when I was younger, a friend of mine had a sheet wrapped around like 10,000 LEGOs. (Properly, the pieces are called LEGO bricks, or more properly, LEGO elements, but everyone just calls them all LEGOs, so I will too.)

I still like LEGOs. I'm sure I have more than 10,000 now, but not wrapped up in a sheet. Because I'm OCD, I have them neatly sorted and in labeled bins. (I can't really be serious, can I?)

I like finding interesting ways to use bricks, especially when it's not their intended use. (Think, band camp...)

One site I stumbled upon is htp://www.LEGOupmybutt.com. It looks uncomfortable.

But seriously, I like when people find neat ways to build cool things with LEGOs, like these things here:

THING1
THING2
THING3
THING4


That's why I really like this person's blog:

http://microbricks.blogspot.com/

Microscale LEGO modeling requires a great deal of creativity, skill, and intelligence, equivalent to repairing an airplane, managing a country club, killing Iraqi insurgents, playing fiddle for the Fort Worth hoedown band, or whatever it is that Bob does (something to do with getting stuff hard).

You should look at that blog if you want to.

Suck it Trebek,
Mike

My new favourite closing

(All of a sudden I'm British...It's as if I like watching a bunch of douchebags run around grass kicking a ball aimlessly for 2 hours)

Remember when I realized no one even listens to me anyway? Vagina!

Now I also have a new favorite endings to my conversations: Suck it Trebek!

Yeah. That rules.

Suck it Trebek!

You're a sick itchy va jay jay!

I can't beleive you clicked on that link. You're a sick person. E-mail me $100.

Recent Idiot Sighting

Idiots are still everywhere...

I imagine this is part of the language in the lawsuit:

"I didn't follow the directions, and things didn't turn out as I wanted, so it's their fault. I am a fartknocker."



Link here (or click above pic for larger image)

Law & Order: SUV

Michelle and I got a new SUV about a month ago.

Since no one wants an SUV right now, the price was just right. Of course, we were worried about the fuel economy and the rising cost of gas. But then, I realized that the SUV gets the worst MPG when it's sitting there at stop signs and red lights. So now, we just run them.

But I still worried about what to do when/if we get stuck in traffic or behind someone.

I know I could lay on the horn or try to drive over the curb, but that wouldn't be quite enough. So I put some big tires on it and now we just drive over other cars.



It's great, we get like 18 miles per gallon!

Give me money, please

Times are tough here at Meglo*Life. Just the other day I got an e-mail that told me to refrain from using the color printer, unless it absolutely necessary. Now I have to look at grayscale pictures of the miniature LEGO cities I printed. It's not very nice looking at all. At least I can still use the glossy paper.

At the same time, we kicked off the annual Ewe Knighted Weigh campaign. Even though the company's trying to save money, I understand the need to give, and I'm glad that the company encourages philanthropy. So far I've donated a sum of money equal to e ^(i*π) +1, which is quite a lot, when you consider that both, the number e, and the number π go on forever. Seriously, they do.

The company's really diligent about informing us about this opportunity to give. In the men's room in the area I work (one of at least twelve) there are 8 color printed 8.5" by 11" flyers telling me to donate. Since there are at least 24 bathrooms in total for both genders, does that mean that there are 192 color copies? (But I have to print black and white pictures of miniature LEGO Star Wars ships I found on the internet?!) And that doesn't count the color printouts in the halls. Or the other buildings Meglo*Life uses. Plus, someone had to hang them all up. Was his/her time donated. If they are an employee, did they stay late to get their regular work done? Were they hired to hang up the color printouts? Did Staples or Office Depot donate the color toner cartridges for the printing or do the printing for the campaign for free?

I wonder what the net effect of the campaign is when you figure in lost productivity and cost of materials, (including the glossy donators pamphlet proclaiming the biggest donors, "Gold Members" or something like that.)

I decided to donate my money to the Wall Street bailout instead. Well, actually, I didn't decide, someone else decided for me, and he probably doesn't even know as much as I know about finance (which is slightly more than e ^(i*π) +1), but he probably has gray hair, old balls, and a lot more money than me, so he must understand better than I.