Questions to answer

"Answer these questions ten, and you'll soon break wind again."

I'll try it first to break the ice.

__________________________
FIRST NAME:
Mike

NICKNAME YOU'VE GONE BY:
Mike, Heavy D, Master, Jim Kay, 'el goaT belTini, geraldo

1 THING YOU'VE DONE FOR MONEY:
raked sand

1 THING YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
My sexy ass, or my creativeness and imagination

1 THING YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
My sexy ass, or my inability to finish a story

1 THING THAT SCARES YOU:
The dark

1 THING YOU CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT:
oxygen (and Michelle)

1 THING YOU WANT TO DO THIS YEAR:
I want to do lots of things...
pass an exam
record a song (recorded well, not all crappy-like)
have a party at MY HOUSE
let Nate know he's awesome
see Dave again
play golf with Chris and Mark
write the best metal song ever with Steve
something else with you, etc.

1 THING YOU ENJOY DOING:
creating life with my many wives...just kidding, (I only have 2), it would have to be, writing: songs, stories, blog entries, whatever

1 THING YOU ARE PROUD OF:
Dave

You try it now.

A new cat for us!

We got a new cat. He was free, though not as lively as Milan was. Oh, well, you can't have it all. We love our new cat. We've named him Sleepy.

He hasn't eaten too much so far, but that's all right. We haven't even set up the litter box yet—we're hoping we can just put that off until we move into the the house.

The thing is, this cat is totally lazy. I swear to God, I kicked it in the head this morning and it didn't even move. And man, so much for feline hygiene, this cat smells bad!

Michelle wants to let it sleep in the bed next to us, but I'm all like, "This thing is worst than the devil kitty we used to have."

I think we're going to drop this one off at the farm too.

Oh well.

Happy Birthday Mom

Today is my Mom's birthday. She turns 437. She's seen it all - from the birth of this nation to the first man on the moon, to the colonies on Mars. What a fascinating life she must have lived so far.

She never did learn how to read. But in her day, a woman's place was in the kitchen, making dinner. In the photo below my dad is trying to teach her to read. The funny thing is, my dad can't read either! They're looking at Chilton car repair manuals!



The best thing about her birthday is that I get to go out to eat tonight at a fancy pizza place. I'm going to drink a Guinness. She'll probably ask for a picture menu.

Yummy yum!

A short post

After reading some of Monkey Boy's stuff, I've decided to post my very own poem. It doesn't have a name. Try reading it out loud, paying careful attention to punctuation, (resting at commas and periods, etcetera.)

In late autumn, the wind scratches sandpaper on my face.
I squeeze my eyes shut, but the sun peels them open.
If only I can survive one more month.

Half a world away, you've stopped waiting.

Years later, I had seen you, ironing laundry, softly,
but that is only what I need—not the reality of this heat.
I'm still in my fatigues.

New House, new ... drum set!

This is an exact copy of an e-mail I sent to my master, Michelle.

"I asked Mike about the mower.
He said:
Total cost = $0. I'm not using it. You'll have to change the oil and maybe the blade.
I think it's this model:
http://www.sears.com/sr/javasr/product.do?BV_UseBVCookie =Yes&vertical=LAWN&pid =07138886000&subcat=Mowers%2C+Rear+Bag"

Then he said, I can buy his drumset for $500. It's this one:
http://www.americanmusical.com/item--i-PEA-FX725C-DB--d-2.html

The one I was looking at is this one:
http://www.americanmusical.com/item--i-TAM-SS52H6C- BLK--d-2.html

The main difference is the "not Mike's" set has an extra cymbal, and a more ideal cymbal selection (16" crash and 20" ride rather than just a 18" crash/ride.)
(I prefer the 20" ride to the 18" ride, and the 16" crash has more punch.)
But it costs $100 more.
But if I buy Mike's set, a cymbal and stand will cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $100 or more anyway.

At some point, I want to upgrade to Zildjian cymbals anyway.
http://www.americanmusical.com/item--i-ZIL-ZBTC4P.html
I really think I want the extra cymbal as soon as possible (it does make a difference)
I could:
1. Buy Mike's set...................................... -$500
2. Buy a Zildjian cymbal package................... -$200
3. Sell the 2 cymbals from Mike's set at Daddy's.. +$50 (I'm guessing)
4. Buy a boom stand for the extra cymbal......... -$50
TOTAL SPENT:.......................................... approx. $700.
OR
1. Buy the TAMA set brand new....................... $600
2. Buy the Zildjian upgrade down the road.......... $200
Total spent: ...........$600 for now, $200 later (like next summer or something.)

At the very least, when we (I) go to get the mower, I play the drums and see what I think.



Finally, as I side note, you might want to ask for this for Christmas or something...
http://www.americanmusical.com/item--i-TAM-SPP518 --brand-263.html "

I married a crazy person

The closing on the house we bought is July 28. Eleven years before that, my wife and I went on our first date. We'll probably be moved in and settled by mid-August. We might even invite you over some time soon after that, but please, don't bring any wine.




The whole process is a bit stressful. I want to punch someone in the face. So does Michelle. I keep telling her to not let it be me that she punches.

She keeps telling me to eat heathly foods. She is crazy. I fear for my safety.

I wish I never knew this

From here:
"Thousands of illnesses and deaths in cats and kittens have led to a reissue of some flea and tick products, along with new warning labels and other protective measures.
June 8, 2005 - Hartz Mountain Corp. will stop production of several flea and tick products that may have caused numerous deaths in cats and kittens.

It includes the following pet product brand names:
Hartz Advanced Care 4 in 1 Flea & Tick Drops Plus+ for Cats and Kittens

Hartz Advanced Care Brand Flea and Tick Drops Plus+ for Cats and Kittens

Hartz Advanced Care 3 in 1 Flea & Tick Drops for Cats and Kittens

Hartz Advanced Care Once-A-Month Flea and Tick Drops for Cats and Kittens

A few drops of a flea control product that are administered on a pet's back may be poisoning them because of the toxins inside, which could be too strong for cats. An insecticide named phenothrin is the primary ingredient found in some flea and tick products. The U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) said that safety concerns stemming from use of two flea and tick control products for cats and kittens, led the agency to persuade the Hartz Mountain Corp. to enact measures to reduce potential risks to pets from using these products.

Under an agreement with the EPA, Hartz has ceased the sale and distribution of Hartz AdvancedCare Brand Flea and Tick Drops Plus for Cats and Kittens and Hartz Advanced Care Brand Once-a-Month Flea and Tick Drops for Cats and Kittens. The company will recall these products, and repackage and re-label its existing stock of the pesticides to educate consumers about their risks.
"EPA sought this agreement due to concerns over safety issues based on thousands of adverseeffects incidents investigated by EPA," the agency said.
Hartz is required to recover, repackage, and re-label currently available stock of the flea and tick drops and to educate consumers about their risks if applied incorrectly. Hartz will stop all new production of the cat and kitten products by Sept. 30, 2005, and not sell or distribute any affected product after Dec. 31, 2005."

We used Hartz flea drops on Milan. Here are some of the symptoms the site listed:

• Depression
• Excessive drooling
• Dizziness or symptoms related to balance
• Disorientation
• Tremors of the extremities, twitching

In some degree, we saw all of these symptoms with Milan, particularly depression and dizziness with loss of balance.

He was probably suffering from some kind of neurological disorder--and then we went and dropped him of at a barn with all these strange animals and foreign smells...

Sorry little guy...

Dougal

This is Dougal.



It took me a while to find a name for this guitar. This isn't the only Dougal though. The other day I saw a television program about the Robertson family's 38 days at sea in the south Pacific. Dougal Robertson was the brillant Brit that thought it would be a good idea to risk his whole family's lives by sailing around the world in a 43' staysail schooner. Killer whales attacked the boat because they thought he was a dumbass and deserved to be punished. The kids had to suck on fish eyeballs to keep from getting dehydrated. Ultimately, it's a great tale of human perseverance, and just how easy it is to get yourself into a bad situation.

Some other news: The Mars Volta was featured on All Things Considered yesterday. Despite the misleading title, the NPR evening program has it's moments. The article featured "The Widow" and "L'Via L'Viaquez"

CDs nuts? Part 2

The mixed CD is finished. Expect a copy in two weeks or sooner. If you don't get one by then, comment/email me and let me know that you want one. I probably left you off the list since I'm only sending them to people who I think might actually like, and appreciate the music, but I'm probably wrong about some people. I apologize if you are offended.

Where was Circa Survive when I had free iTunes songs from drinking so much Diet Mountain Dew?

Where were they?

This is the kind of of crap I usually don't listen to (but I like The Mars Volta and a few At The Drive-In songs). I wish I had free songs left, because I don't want to pay for this music, but I think I might kind of like it.

What is wrong with me?

By Autumn's end, I'll own a drumset again, and I'll stop listening to this crappity crappy crap.

(That was for Drejwas...you buttmunch)

Freakin' Red Spoons!

I know I promised this Star Wars she-ite would end soon...and it will. I would be more careful if it weren't for all the other 80 million Star Wars freaks out there. In fact, I'm very self-conscious. I often think of many ways in which I am better than you.

"Nah...I'm just kidding. I love you guys." - Flexo (or at least, something he might say)

So I went to this Mexican restaurant and drank a few XX Lagers. Then I decided I needed more, so I go to the Super-duper market to get some beer since it was after 8 PM and only supermarkets sell beer that late in this stupid-ass state. While I ran through the aisles, I happened upon a bunch of cereal boxes that offer light-saber spoons.

I already have two red spoons, but would love a green or blue one (even if only to rub it into dMANb's face.)

So, with the approval of my master, Michelle, I purchased 4 boxes of cereal-2 for my nieces, and 2 for me, which, despite a promise I made (my fingers were crossed) I will never eat. I bought 2 Honey Smacks, 1 Crapple Jacks, and 1 Corn pops. We decided to give the Apple Jacks and 1 Honey Smacks to the girls.

I opened the other two right away. Crappola! 2 more red spoons. Poop on a stick!

Then we delivered the packages to the, albeit cute, ungrateful little beasts, and guess what...?

Katharine pulls out a GREEN light saber spoon. The little wench!

"Hey Katharine," I says, "I'll give you 2 red spoons for your measly 1 green one."

"No thanks," she answers. Then she adds, "I'm the only one with a green spoon." she even let the words linger in the air for a moment.

Damn children-too smart for their own good.

But I noticed she opened the Apple Jacks. Aha! It must be Apple Jacks that gives you the green spoon!

Finally, after about an hour of goodbyes, we left, and, again with my Master, Darth Michelle's permission, we return to Price Hopper, and I purchase the last box of Apple Jacks.

I run into the car eagerly awaiting my green light saber spoon. I can't wait to wave it into dMANb's face. Ha! I am the one true Jedi!

I pulled the box top open before I got to the car. Once inside, the suspense was killing me, and my master. She even said, "Hurry up, I want to see if it's green."

I deliberately slowly opened the packet to the spoon. I turned on the switch and connected the top. I pushed the button...

It was red!

F***in' Kellogg's assbags. (Sheesh! I almost swore in public...about a spoon!)

Anyway, I got home and drank 3 more beers, and decided to tell you about this.

Thanks for dinner AC.

I'm going to write Kellogg's a letter. Jerkynuts!

I know a guy...

I definitely think I will be able to start something great before the summer is over. It's about ready to burst out.

The thing is, I kind of want to play guitar right now. I play along with itunes. Here's all the songs I can play along with:

True Alternative:
The Mars Volta - L'Via L'Viaquez (one day, I'll get Mario to translate this for me)
The Mars Volta - Cicatrix (Demo version)
The Mars Volta - Eria Tarka (not very well though)
At The Drive In - One Armed Scissor
At The Drive In - Napoleon Solo

Funk/Smooth R&B
Jamiroquai - Love Foolosophy
Jamiroquai - Cosmic Girl
N.E.R.D. - Things are getting better
N.E.R.D. - LapDance (very boring to play)
James Brown - Get up/I feel like a sex machine (also very boring to play)
Wild Cherry - Play That Funky Music

Rockesque:
The Toadies - Possum Kingdom
The Cars - Just What I Needed
Jeff Buckley - Everybody Here Wants
Soundgarden - Fell on Black Days
The Cardigans - For What It's Worth
Nirvana - School

There are other songs I could, and would, play if they were in standard tuning. Maybe I'll drop Leroy down to 1/2 step flat concert pitch so I play along with Alice in Chains or Guns 'N Roses. Plus I will add some Beatles to the above list since they play in standard tuning most of the time too.

And, the Guild is still unnamed. By now any other guitar would have a name. Maybe I'm thinking about it too much.

But I just totally went off on a tangent-

I know a guy I made up. He has lived an interesting life and I want to share his story with you. I have started writing it down. Hopefully in the next couple of months I'll have enough to start sharing. The ideas are right on the tip of my imagination. But I didn't play guitar yesterday at all.

Woe is me. Stupid brain.