So, at
Meglo*Life, we are planning on completing first quarter 2006 things earlier than usual. This meant that yours truly had to go to work on Saturday. Crapsticks. Then I realize the files I need from the computer people types aren't ready yet and won't be for about an hour...an hour I could have spent at home, playing drums.
So I studied for a little while. I was thristy and opted not to drink another cup of water. I went to the vending machines on the top floor, floor 541 (which is the floor I work on) to get some Vault™ Zero to drink. After numerous attempts, the machine finally took my dollar. I inserted a quarter too, and then pushed the button. Where the price is normally displayed, it said, "SOLD OUT." WTF?! I pushed the button before I added my money and it said "1.25" why couldn't it tell me then that it was sold out so I could have saved the time trying to get it to eat my feckin' dollar?
So I wander down stairs. The first floor machines have a clear plastic window, so I could see there was Vault™ Zero inside. I also decided to get some chips. I like chips. But then, the chips get stuck instead of falling all the way down in the vending machine. I had more change in my desk, all the way up on the 541st floor, but screw that, i wasn't going to walk all the way up there for chips. By now I was pretty pissed. I swore sort of loudly, and began shaking the machine so I could get the chips to fall. No dice. I continued to swear and violently shake the machine without any success. Now here's the real kicker...if had been Monday through Friday, I would have just walked away, but since it was a weekend and no one was there, I felt a little more comfortable, which loosely translates to stupid. I kicked the machine a few times (mostly because I was angry, not really to get the chips out) when a weekend security guard walks by. These guys are all on power trips. I mean, think about how insignificant a job their's is, especially here at
Meglo*Life in rural Wheathog.
"Excuse me sir?" he asked. I told him the I was just trying to get my chips out. He didn't believe me. I think his exact words were, "You were trying to destory the machine."
So he has me follow him back to the security station and he fills out a workplace violence report on me claiming I violated
Meglo*Life's safety policy. I didn't even know such a report existed. Then he tells me I have to leave to premises and attend a scheduled hearing with HR on Monday. My keys were at my desk upstairs, so I he escorts me to my desk to get my keys. And guess who also came in for the weekend? My boss. So he sees me with the security guard and askes what's going on. I started to answer him when the security guard interrupted that I had violated
Meglo*Life's workplace safety policy. I added that all I was doing was trying to get my chips from the vending machine when the guard said, "He was trying to destroy the machine." I shook my head and my boss' face went white. I wonder if he'd seen somethine like this before. I wonder if I'll still have a job come Monday.
Yup, working on Saturdays sucks...
