Old... like 35

Last night Michelle and I went to see Minus the Bear play. While we were waiting in line to get in, we noticed the abundance of younger people also waiting to get into the show:

The slutty chick who had to speak loud enough so that everyone within 20 feet of her knew she was facebooking on her phone.

The drunken guy that kept leaning on me and repeatedly saying, "Sorry, I'm drunk." To which Michelle or I would answer, "We know, you told us that 2 minutes ago".

The skinny kid in pants that were too tight, expect in the butt, where, I presume, he kept room for crapping himself when he gets too drunk or lazy to go to the bathroom.

That was part 1.

Later during the show, while looking around for the source of someone engaging in reefer madness, while scratching my temple near my gray hairs, I commented to Michelle, "We're probably the third and fourth oldest people in this room."

That was part 2.

Since Michelle and I are both fans of Minus the Bear, we listen to them at home. Logan hears their music and has become familiar with it. During the song "Ice Monster", Michelle recalled and shared a story of how Logan responded to the lyrics of that song, "Take a step back and turn yourself around," by spinning around and saying, "I am turning around."
I told her, "We're at a concert and talking about our kids."
She said, "Yeah, we're old."
I said, "We both had dental work done today."
(I wasn't lying either.)
We had to get close to hear each other over the music, crowd noise, and the earplugs we were wearing.

That was part 3.

Later that night, when we were leaving, we came across some kid who asked where an ATM was. He didn't have any cash to pay the parking fee. Michelle gave him $2 and said, "Here you go sonny. Stay in school." (Or something close to that.) Noticing he also wore dumpy ass, tight leg pants, I told him to get some new pants. (Seriously.)
Then we got in our Buick and drove home.

That was part 3.
Oh wait I already said part 3, my memory is a little fuzzy.


PS. Did you see this post yet?

Dog turd

Immeasurable and unknown are the requests to cease the obtainment of knowledge strictly for the purpose of displaying loosely a marginal grasp of concept and understanding. My desires lie wholly and unequivocally on emotional insistence of which my energies be spent with pen to paper such that my lips might grace your ears, and perhaps most importantly, your imaginations, with accounts of wonder, amazement and perils unidentified to us in our ordinary lives. Solemnly, I yearn the capability to prohibit the prerequisite of fiscal responsibility. How I long for the days in-between then and now to move in haste. This is the end I arduously engage in. I pledge this to you.

Yo Joe!

Shit.

I had heard of You Tube before, but never checked it out until my pal dMANb sent me a link to a video on that site. Not only is the site mostly crap, but it's also mostly copyright infringement. Regardless of that though, it has some freakin' funny stuff. I was able to find all sorts of crazy crapsticks GI Joe public service annoucements, reworked to be more accurate.

Here's an example:
Original here
Reworked here

Check them out, but don't bother if you never watched GI Joe, you'll miss most of the joke. This stuff never gets old.
And, remember knowing is half the battle.

GI Joe #1, "Look at your different colored hats!"
GI Joe #2, "You're not my friend."
GI Joe #3, "Holy Cow, I'm totally going so fast!"
GI Joe #4, "Pork Chop Sandwiches!"
GI Joe #5, "They wake the next day and they're on fire."
GI Joe #6, "Stop all the downloading!"
GI Joe #7, "Huh?"
GI Joe #8, "Who wants a body message?"
GI Joe #9, "Damn, these beats are so fresh!"
GI Joe #10, "We should totally hit it again."
GI Joe #11, I have no idea what they are saying but it's funny to laugh at people who are different then us

P.S. Don't watch these at work.
P.S.S. John DeStefano looks like a toad.
P.P.S.S Brewing this weekend, sweet.