About time, Slacker

Lazy sunnabitch

Sci Fi

Tomorrow, I'm going to the future. See you then.

S.I.T.

Freaky Friday

Ever notice that 31 backwards is 13? And that Halloweener was on Oct 31, a Friday...almost a Friday the 13^th?

Freaky.



I honestly carved that pumpkin, seriously. With my wiener.

Halloween is always a great time. I like to hide in the bushes and shoot the treat or treaters with a BB gun.

Look at this little bastard who showed up for some candy.

Build it Smaller

I'm a fairly creative person. One time, I invented hammers by punching nails into wood.

The point is that I like things which I find likable. Like country fried steak, Stars Wars, and crotchless panties.

Anyway, when I was younger, a friend of mine had a sheet wrapped around like 10,000 LEGOs. (Properly, the pieces are called LEGO bricks, or more properly, LEGO elements, but everyone just calls them all LEGOs, so I will too.)

I still like LEGOs. I'm sure I have more than 10,000 now, but not wrapped up in a sheet. Because I'm OCD, I have them neatly sorted and in labeled bins. (I can't really be serious, can I?)

I like finding interesting ways to use bricks, especially when it's not their intended use. (Think, band camp...)

One site I stumbled upon is htp://www.LEGOupmybutt.com. It looks uncomfortable.

But seriously, I like when people find neat ways to build cool things with LEGOs, like these things here:

THING1
THING2
THING3
THING4


That's why I really like this person's blog:

http://microbricks.blogspot.com/

Microscale LEGO modeling requires a great deal of creativity, skill, and intelligence, equivalent to repairing an airplane, managing a country club, killing Iraqi insurgents, playing fiddle for the Fort Worth hoedown band, or whatever it is that Bob does (something to do with getting stuff hard).

You should look at that blog if you want to.

Suck it Trebek,
Mike

My new favourite closing

(All of a sudden I'm British...It's as if I like watching a bunch of douchebags run around grass kicking a ball aimlessly for 2 hours)

Remember when I realized no one even listens to me anyway? Vagina!

Now I also have a new favorite endings to my conversations: Suck it Trebek!

Yeah. That rules.

Suck it Trebek!

Law & Order: SUV

Michelle and I got a new SUV about a month ago.

Since no one wants an SUV right now, the price was just right. Of course, we were worried about the fuel economy and the rising cost of gas. But then, I realized that the SUV gets the worst MPG when it's sitting there at stop signs and red lights. So now, we just run them.

But I still worried about what to do when/if we get stuck in traffic or behind someone.

I know I could lay on the horn or try to drive over the curb, but that wouldn't be quite enough. So I put some big tires on it and now we just drive over other cars.



It's great, we get like 18 miles per gallon!

Yo

It's been a while.

What have I been always doing sometimes?

Summarized list:
- Working
- Logan
- Warming weather
- Killing

When I get home from working, I just haven't felt like sitting in front of a computer screen after doing so all day long. Especially now that Logan is a little older and running around; it's a lot of fun to play with him. And once he's in bed, my second job as a hitman takes up my whole night.

One job got me thinking. It really wasn't much of a job at first, it got interesting, but in the end, wasn't much of a job either.

Getting in to his place was easy. Since it was late at night, the ride to White Plains barely took an hour. His house was on a cul de sac not far from the Cross Westchester expressway. His place was right at the end and his backyard ran up against some woods and a baseball field.

He was home, which I knew before I left, and alone. He was Indian, I think, and judging by the decor in his place, Buddhist. His place was immaculate; clean, straight lines, fancy art on the walls, leather couches, mahogany hardwood floors, posh Oriental rugs throughout, a dark wooden bookcase full of hardcover books. This had some money, and for a minute I almost let myself wonder why he had a contract. I brushed it aside and climbed the stairs to his bedroom. I thought about climbing up the railings, since his stairs were finished hardwood with no runner, but decided it would be better to save my energy and besides, nobody's stairs squeaked as much as mine. The master bedroom had more Buddhist relics in it. As I moved through the open doorway, I noticed a fat, bald dude looking at me from the corner of the room. What the f... it was just a Buddha statue. I realized I was being lazy, but had nothing to worry about, this guy was out cold. But Buddha kept looking at me. Kept staring at me.

I couldn't shake the "karma, noble truths, etc." junk I had learned about Buddhism back when I was confirmed at my church. Instead of worrying about my actions though, I thought, "I guess this guy just had it coming."

I looked around for any weapons he might keep in his bedroom, and after finding nothing, decided it'd be best to finish the job in the hall, on the wooden floor. It might be easier to clean up then.

I walked out into the hallway to look around when I heard him moving. I turned around slowly, quietly, to face his doorway, and slowly began walking backwards, periodically glancing over my shoulder for a place to hide. Then the karma thing bit me in the ass. Literally, and it stung. I had backed into the corner of a side table he had in his hall. It was barely a bump, but enough to not only hurt my ass, but also send a large vase, and some ugly fake flowers, over onto the hardwood floors. Shit! I thought, but the vase hit with a soft thud, unbroken. Karma.

Nonetheless, he stumbled out of this bedroom and towards me, seemingly unaware I was just inside the shadows at the end of the hall. He looked half asleep still, and I figured he was heading into the bathroom or something.

He was wearing long, baggy pajama pants and no shirt. Once his gait revealed he had light colored socks on. He held an empty glass in one hand. He rubbed his face with the open palm of the other hand and picked his head up after he finished. Then he noticed my silhouette in the shadows.

I was just readying myself to move towards him when he startled and stepped back. His left foot hit the edge of the top stair awkwardly and he tumbled down violently. I quickly followed him down, using the railings to hurdle the broken glass that was strewn across the top few treads.

I got down to the bottom with my rope in hand when I noticed how still he was. His head was facing toward the wall but his torso was bent back, unnaturally and probably uncomfortably towards the middle of the room. I checked his pulse. He was dead. Karma.

I didn't even have to clean up. I was going to get paid because this dude was a klutz.

I put my rope back in my coat pocket and headed toward the window I climbed in. I noticed a framed picture on the wall that I didn't see when I came in. It was of Buddha with a saying superimposed over the picture. It read:

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your common sense."

Literally that means, "only listen to what you want to hear."

I realize that's the mantra of a great number of people. People I know, people you know. It's a nice way to live.

I climbed out the window, pulled it shut and walked through the backyard, through the woods and to my car. I rubbed my ass where it still stung a little and got in. I drove home a little slower this time; I didn't want to get a speeding ticket. Speeding is dangerous and illegal.

Buddha was a genius. I never knew it was that easy to achieve nirvana.
Only listen to what you want to hear.

Hallo, guten Tag!

Note to readers: many of the pictures in this post can be clicked on to be viewed larger.

Warning! Long post alert, but it's mostly pictures.

Michelle and I just got back from Europe a week ago. It was great. We spent time in Bamberg, Germany (where my brother lives) and Rome. Here are some pictures. We took over 600 pictures and movie clips!

Here's where my brother lives:


Just kidding, he really lives at # 31. Here's the street he lives on.





Here's some photos of the city of Bamberg.









Bamberg has 10 breweries in the city, and is known for Rauchbier, smoke beer, which is brewed with malted barley that is dried over open flames.







Rome was great. It's amazing how much history there is in the city, and how much the modern city just grw up around, and blends into the old stuff, both the antiquitious Roman senate/empire buildings and the Vacatian and Catholic areas.







Walking to the Vacatian.

This shot was taken only 3-5 minutes walk from our hotel room!

The Swiss Guard at the basilica.


St. Peter's Square


St. Peter's Basilica


Some shots from inside










Some things from the Vatican museum.







The Tiber river, from the Castel Sant'Angelo, outside of Vatican City.


The Ancient Roman ruins were awesome. It's pretty amazing how they have survived the sacking of Rome, and WWII as well as they have.



















Back in Germany, Pottenstein.









Also, back in Bamberg, we went on a brewery tour. We only went to four breweries, since we had to leave early the next day.

Klosterbrau




Spezial Brau




Mahr's Brau


I took so many more pictures. I didn't even include any of Frankfurt here.
I can show you some more pictures if you want.

I'm planning to go back around October 2009.

I rock

So, remember last week when I typed about the best guitar players ever. Do you? Well I do. It was one of the best moments in my life.

Some dookie thought I was wrong about Eddie Van Halen, but who really cares, when I was totally wrong about me. I should have put me in the top tier, just like I said in my comment to myself.



That's right: I got 100% of the notes right for Bulls on Parade by Rage Against the We Suck. It was only on medium difficulty, but still pretty cool, considering I did again on My Name is Boners by Weezer.



Plus, the chicks I was when I played guitar were pretty hot for cartoon characters.