11/06/09: Friday Five

Pre-S. I know I can't count anymore...

Magnus Opum: Bands' best CDs (so far for some)

Minus the Bear - Planet of Ice (They Make Beer Commericals Like This is a close second)
Bjork - Vespertine <-- This one is probably my favorite of the bunch. Radiohead - OK Computer
Jimmie's Chicken Shack - Bring Your Own Stereo
The Mars Volta - De-Loused in the Comatorium
Soundgarden - Superunknown
Alice in Chains - Dirt
Stone Temple Pilots - Tiny Music...Songs from the Vacitan Gift Shop


That's about all the bands I have all or most of their albums. Most other bands I like I only have a few albums or only buy the songs I like.

Suck it Trebek,
Mike

Friday Five Six, 04/04/08

The best hockey players ever, including the future...

GOALIE:
Martin Brodeur - I know, you think I should have said Patrick Roy (I say it "Patty Roy", where Roy is pronounced like boy...) But, the truth is Brodeur is just better. Better save percentage, better win percentage, better GAA. Like 30 more shoutouts, all in 2 less seasons. Brodeur only had one season where his save percentage was under .900, his first. Roy had three. If Brodeur plays next year, and wins games at only 2/3 rate he has throughout his career, he'll best Roy for most wins ever. And next season he could conceivable pass Terry Sawchuk for the most shut-outs ever. The only thing going against Broduer is play-off wins, but maybe Roy just played on better teams. Oh yeah, there's also that one thing in 2001, when Roy and the Colorado Avalanche beat Brodeur and the Devils in the Stanley Cup finals, but we can look the other way on that for now.

DEFENSEMEN:
Bobby Orr - One time, while killing a penalty, Orr kept possession of the puck for more than one minute. The only reason he lost possession? He scored a shorthanded goal. Orr is arguably the first offensive defensemen though he didn't slack on defense. (Canadiens spell it defence, but they were taught by British folks, and we all know they speak English wrong.) He was known to often take the puck the length of the ice, meaning he gained control of the puck while playing defense. When he retired early due to knee problems (I think it was knees), the NHL was bright enough to realize what they just saw end, and he was inducted into the hall of fame at age 31, younger than anyone else.


Doug Harvey - Doug Harvey played hockey before I was born, but for some reason people seem to think he was one of the best defensemen ever. He played on 11 consecutive all star teams and won the Norris trophy seven times. Frankly, I think that everyone considers him one of the best because he had two first names. But not just that, they are both cool, asskicking, rough names: Doug and Harvey. He's actually from Frenchy Frencherville, so his name could have easily been Claude Michele, Jean LaPoof or something super soft and girly, but no, he was just Doug Harvey.

OFFENSEMEN:
Mario Lemieux - Mario Lemieux basically was the offense when he played for the Penguins. He scored almost 60% of the teams goals during his span. He scored 10 shorthanded goals twice in a season, one of those seasons he had 13--more than anyone else. One time he scored 5 goals in one game: one even strength, one shorthanded, one on the power play, one of a penalty shot, and one into an empty net. Plus Lemieux was banged up quite a bit. I can only imagine that he'd be a lot closer to Gretsky's gretaness if he wasn't hurt so much. Only Gretsky scored more points per game then Lemieux over the course of their respective careers. If Lemieux didn't come back after surviving cancer, he would have averaged more points per games than Gretsky.

Mike Bossy - Bossy was one of the best shooters. He scored 50 goals in 9 straight seasons, even Gretsky didn't do that. Along with Gretsky and Lemieux, he was one of the few players to score 50 or more goals in the first 50 games of the season. He scored more goals per game than other other player in NHL history. And even though his name was Bossy, he won the Lady Byng trophy for good sportsmenship 3 times, in only 10 NHL seasons. Like Orr, his career was cut short by injuries.

Wayne Gretsky - I really don't need to say anything here, but I will. 2,857 points in 1,487 games. That's the most points ever, the most that there ever will be and best points per game ever (almost 2). In second place (a distance second) is Mark Messier, "only" 970 points less at 1,887. And he needed over 250 more games than Gretsky to get that close. (Close is still pretty far away.) Gretsky scored at least 50 goals in the first 50 games of a season three times. One of those times, he scored 61 goals through 50 games. He scored 10 hat tricks in a season twice. He scored more points in one season then anyone ever will (215) and more goals in one season (92) and more assists in one season (163). He can fly and eat nails. Also, he was in a cartoon with Bo Jackson and Michael Jordan. (Michael Jordan is the best athlete ever, so that's pretty cool for Gretsky too.)


People who could have made the list, but didn't:
Patrick Roy
Guy Lafleur
Rocket Richard
Sidney Crosby
Chuck Norris
Ray Bork bork bork

The top 5%

The other day Michelle and I were watching some show about Metal (it comes from Hell...) on VHI Classic. I pointed out how Mr. Big's ballad was so crappy but that the guitar and bass player were actually really awesome. Later, the show talked about Marilyn Mansion, and I pointed out how John 5, (who was the guitarist for Manson when show was filmed), was actually a guitar virtuoso sort of player as well. (Not really a virtuoso, but he's better than a guitar player needs to be to play for Marilyn Manson.)

So I got to wondering about who the best guitar players are. As with anything sort of rating, there has ot be some set of rules, and even then, it's still arbitary. I don't want to include people like John Williams (not the Star Wars guy, but this other guy), or Chuck Berry, even though, the things they did for guitar were/are pretty freaking awesome. I guess I'll limit the list to metalesque/rock guitar players.

Here's the list of top 5%, which I'd love some feedback on it if you're game for it. I'm sure there are people I'm forgetting or just don't know about.

Steve Vai
Paul Gilbert
Stevie Ray Vaughan
John Petrucci
Joe Satriani
Yngwie Malmsteen
Chuck Norris (Come on..., I couldn't in good conscience leave him off the list.)

Some close, but not quites:
Eddie Van Halen (I know you think I'm wrong, but really, he's awesome, but the guys in the previous section can play circles around him, and he probably can't, and never could have, played the stuff they can.)
Darrell Abbott
Marty Freidman
Buckethead
John 5


Some overrated players:
Carlos Santana
Jimmy Page


This list excluded some real great guitar players outside of the rock type genre such as:
Andre Segovia
John Williams
Wes Montgomery
Me
Tony Rice

Friday Five 11/30/07

I love food. It's usually my favorite thing to eat. The best thing about food is, not only is it delicious, but without it, you would die.
Michelle makes me food too, which is good, since as I already stated, I love food and I need food.

Five Awesomely Delicious Meals that Michelle makes for me, because she knows what's good for her (and what's good for me)
The order is not important

#1. Chicken(or Country) Fried Steak - It sounds weird but it's so good it makes me tear a phonebook in half.

#2. "Little Hat" Pasta stuff with pancetta, prosciutto, and peas - I eat this stuff so quickly, my stomach explodes!

#3. Chicken Pot Pie - There's no need to type anything about this awesomely delicious meal, so I won't even type this sentence you're reading.

#4. Pasta e Fagioli - This soup is so good I eat it until I stop.

#5. Corn Salsa - It's not the kind of stuff you'd eat on chips. It's got some heat to it, and nice with chicken and cool wheat beer.

Boner petite!

"I'm the one who wants to be with you"

The 80's rocked.

Seriously.

Just look at these dudes (I think they are dudes?) and tell me the 80's didn't rock.


The best thing about the 80's was that bands actually had musicians in them back then. At some point in the early or mid 1990's bands started focusing on passion and emotion in their sounds and thus, popular music shifted towards feelings.

Feelings in music are great, but it still has to be music for those sounds to count, right?

Anyway, I recently realized that Paul Gilbert is one of the best guitarists ever. He is a virtuoso. He can play guitar at close to 845.2 beats per minute.

Plus, he wears a spacesuit around, which is just generally cool.

And he lived in Japan for a while, so it's probable that he's a quarter to a third ninja as well, and that's totally sweet.


I never knew back then how awesome he was. I only sort of knew of him because he was in Mr. Big, and they had that sissy hit ballad that was all over the radio, and MTV (back when MTV had music on it), and at high school dances. It was terrible.

I stumbled upon another band he was/is in called Racer X. These guys were totally 80's: big hair, leather jackets, bulge inducing ultra tight jeans, huge dangly earrings, etc.

To summarize, they rocked major ass.



I got to wondering why bands without musicians in them become popular. I recall Kim Thayil of Soundgarden commenting on a visit to a music store once. Apparently a young guitarist played circles around him there. Kim scoffed and said something like, "I made more money this year then you will your whole life, so who cares how much better than me you are."


Now, I doubt he meant to be an major asshole, and I think he made a good point: most listeners don't care if a band has ability. To be fair, I think Kim Thayil got lucky and Soundgarden only got popular enough for it matter after: a.) Nirvana, and b.) Chris Cornell learned how to play guitar and starting writing their songs.

In my experience, lots of times people have no idea what talent or ability is necessary to make certain sounds occur. Once even, a guitar player in high school demeaned Metallica because all they did was "play powerchords." Yeah sure, but they played powerchords, but they played them really, really fast and really clean. (Plus they played other things too, but this buttmunch was too busy strumming open chords to notice.)

Someone like Buckethead is a great guitarist as well, but what's it worth to him. I guess he tried to play in Guns n' Roses, but it didn't work out. I can imagine that Axl is a real dick to worth with, maybe because he has such a clear idea of what he wants out of his music. (Or maybe because he's just a dick.) Anyway, Buckethead could easily hold chops against Izzy or Slash (though Izzy can really write great songs) and he'd likely get really famous and rich if he played in Guns n' Roses long enough.

Maybe he doesn't care because he just likes making music and challenging himself. I don't know. I sometimes wonder if it's like the guy who holds the Guiness World Record for most items stuffed in his anus, or like most olympic sports. How valuable is the fact that you're the best at something if only 5 people even try (or care to try) to do it?

Now, it might sound like I'm advocating a shitass, "feelings" band like Staind. No. They suck balls. I hate them like Anakin hated Obi Wan after he cut all his extremities off. If I ever saw them, I would crap on their heads. I just wonder why Mozart can last so long, but modern talent, hard work and ability can easily be dismissed for a dude sounding like he's dropping a deuce in his pants.

Number 2!

P.S. Irony is this: as awesome is as awesome is, the hardest thing for a drummer to do is play 1 beat every second for 5 minutes straight, without a metronome, and still be on time when the 5 mintues is done. That is such a simple sounding thing, but so difficult. Go figure. I'm off to bed.

(A G-run plays in the breakground now. G-A-Bb-B-D-E-D-G.)

Friday Five 6/29/07

My iPod has over 3,000 songs in it. That's like 192 hours worth of music. I usually listen to it at work, since: a) The lady next to me talks very loud and all day long, and; b) I work about 192 hours a day.

Right now, I'm listening a song called Just Kickin' Like A Wild Donkey. It's okay.

I have a lot of different kinds of music on there from classical, jazz, real heavy metal, awesome, and even a little bluegrass.

I have a lot of favorites, but only a few real favorites. The thing is, some of my favorite albums aren't always by my favorite bands. It's actually pretty rare that I like every song on an album. There are only a few albums I have that I do.

Five albums I can almost always listen to (I don't need to be in the mood) and I pretty much like every song on the album, even though the band is probably not one of my favorites unless they are:
(the order is sort of mostly meaningful)

OK Computer - Radiohead (11 of 12 songs - Fitter Happier isn't really a song anyway)
Superunknown - Soundgarden (14 of 15 - Spoonman is just too stupid for me)
Bring Your Own Stereo - Jimmie's Chicken Shack (13 of 13)
Dirt - Alice in Chains (13 of 13)
...And Justice for All - Metallica (9 of 9)

By the way, I purposely excluded "Greatest Hits" and "Best of" albums.

P.S. I don't intend for this blog to become a weekly top five list, it's just that I haven't done too much worth writing about lately.

Firday Five

Ha ha ha...

Damn...that's some funny ship. A real knee slapper.

Word. You know that this blog is all about what I'm always doing sometimes. (Right now, I'm stratching myself and typing with only one hand.) Back to two hands.

But I wonder if all three of you actually read the blog because I type funny stuff.

Anyway. On Fridays, I'll post a list of five things. This way you'll always know that I'll update the blog at least once a week.

PS. Some Fridays I won't post a list of five things, but I'll try to do it most Fridays. And I'll spell Friday correctly in the title next time too.

Since today is Friday, I figured I'd start today.

The order is almost always meaningless, unless it isn't.

Five songs by musicians you likely haven't heard off that may be worth a listen if you might like that sort of thing:

- Cat Power -The Greatest
- The Fall of Troy-Cut Down All the Trees and Name the Streets After Them
- This Holiday Life-Firefly
- Imogen Heap-Headlock
- Coulter-Delta (Hold and Fix)
- Tin Hat Trio-Happy Hour (comes in a close sixth)

Huh?

I noticed on my visitor tracker that a lot of recent visits came from people searching for koala swimwear, as I recently named a post after that. If you've never seen a koala swimsuit, I suggest you check it out. Do an image search on Google and make sure the safe search is off. Try searching at work, or church, or when little children are nearby and paying 100% attention to what's on the computer screen. Better yet, check it out with your mom in the room.

SCRATCH THAT! Don't do any of that stuff! If you really must see a koala swimsuit, do it when no one is around, unless you want to get fired or arrested or slapped.

That brings up something that I always wonder about sometimes: How many inside jokes do I use on this blog that only a small handful of you readers actually know? I would guess almost every post has some joke in it that only one or two of the readers he actually understand. (Right, Sniffy?)

Or for that matter, how many of you actually even care? And why would I even think that any of you would want to read about me? Seriously, I suck. I'm only mildly handsome. I can't break a 4 minute mile. I can't quite benchpress 450 lbs. I can't even hit the high F in Minnie Riperton's Loving You. I don't do anything remotely important.

With YouTube: Broadcast Yourself ^TM, MySpace, me.com, and Windows Live Space, everybody in the world today thinks they are special and better than average. They also think that everyone else actually cares about what they think and have to say. Fooey!

You should stop reading this right now and go outside. One day you're going to die, but right before that happens, you'll think, "Sheesh, I wish I went outside instead of thinking I cared about what Mike was always doing sometimes. I am such a numbnuts."

Actually, don't stop reading just yet. Check out this guy first. He actually is doing something important and he actually is better than average. Plus, I think he can hit that high F.

Late Tuesday

Late Tuesday is a three piece, all female band from Bellingham, Washington- a coastal city about 15 miles south of Vancouver, BC. Amidst, the folk-esque, pop rock music, the three ladies harmonize beautifully. While it's nothing special, there is a quality to their songs that makes them easy to listen to, and even enjoyable.

Some reviews claim they sound like the Indigo Girls. I really have no idea about that, but I do know that these chicks actually look like women (i.e. no mullets) and they're not even that bad looking at that.

They offer up some songs to listen to and download for free from there website, http://www.latetuesday.com/.

Apparently they play with a backup band, and every song I've heard offers more instruments than just guitar and piano (which the ladies play themselves.)

Their latest albums were released on the BlueTree Records label. I know some of their songs are available for purchase from iTunes, but I'm not sure if they are for sale at any of the record stores around the Northeast.

I think that a few of the people who might read this post would appreciate their music. They are worth checking out at least.

Seacrest, Out.

They're alive!!!!

I thought with halloweiner fast approaching, I'd do something scary...so here's a picture of my balls....!!!


You are sick for highlighting this area hoping to see a picture of my balls




Nahh... I'm just kidding with you.

You know, I like music. I like it a lot. In fact, listening to music (and most likely, playing it too) is something I do every day. The only other things I do each day are eat, breathe and shit. (Oh shit!, this blog is not PG anymore...)

So. I was thinking about bands I'd never want to see live (that's what I was always doing sometimes, especially at work) and I realized that of all my favorite bands, only two of them I'd actually enjoy seeing live: Minus the Bear, and Jimmie's Chicken Shack.

Now, you know (since you care immensely about me and what I find awesome, (why else would you visit this blog instead of going outside to play or kissing your wife(or domestic partner, you homo))) [triple parnethesises outside of mathematics!?, how unorthodox...now the sentence that last left off with "Now, you know..." begins again] that I like crazy (also commonly known to few as creative, talented and ass-kicking) bands like Bjork, Radiohead, The Sound of Animals Fighting, The Fall of Troy, and The Mars Volta, but those three bands are three bands I think I would pee pee or poo poo in my pants at. That's what's really scary: Bjork running around stage with a penguin on as she sings Where is the Line? and Mike Patton beat-boxes away ("What is it?!") They are totally nuts and make 3 minute songs into 45 minute songs. This is usually only cool from their perspective.

The bands I most enjoy live are actually bluegrass and no name jazz bands, and for one simple reason: they actually are good musicians. One time, I was wandering around Boston with my subordinate Michelle, and we happened upon some really great jazz. We listened all night, along with a few martinis. It was great. And who can rule out an awesome show in a barn on the property of the doctor who delivered you from evil (ha ha! I get it) where the bluegrass flows like wine and you can trip the mandolin player if you really wanted to.

Yeah. Music is listenable. I'd give it a shot if I were you and you've missed out so far.

Now stop reading this and go outside...one day you'll die and realize you didn't get enough sun.

Sounds are hearable...unless you're deaf

'Sup Bitch?

Remember that, huh? huh?

I haven't played guitar as much as I used to. I blame Michelle, because she let me get a drumset. Now, the only regular guitar playing I do is in bed before I fall asleep, and even then I have to listen to Michelle grumbling at me to quiet down. I should practice more, though the other day, I played the first lead part of Metallica's One fairly well. Then a string broke on Leroy, so I had to play Gunther, my metal guitar. I guess that's more fitting, since when they recorded One, Metallica was still a metal band. I used to want to have 1 milion guitars to play everyday, but now, I just want one more, a Martin D-28. Someday...

Once before, I talked about how my list of the best songs ever is getting out of date. It's not that those songs aren't good anymore, it's just that I hear new songs that I never heard before until I heard them, and I like them a lot, or a little or not all at, or somewhere in between. I listen to music a lot, except when I'm not. Here's some for you to try to find so you can hear them too, if you listen, and aren't deaf. Don't be surprised if you didn't like any of this. Not everyone can be as cool as me.

Minus the Bear - This Ain't a Surfin' Movie
The drum beat during the verse seems simple, but keeping straight quarter notes on the hi-hats over the kick and snare line is not easy. This song reminds me of summer and chilling out and firing bottle rocket's at small children. Well, not the last one, I guess. This song can be heard here. Just press the right arrows until you get to the This Ain't a Surfin' Movie. I actually bought this album, and this band has become one of my new favorites. Seriously, they rock my world.

Say Anything - Alive With the Glory of Love
This type of music would typically fall into my catch all category: crappity crap. But this song isn't too bad. It's basically a love song, but not really a ballad. It reminds me of a few stories I'm writting that are about love-sort of. (Sidenote: Man, I need to write more often. I forgot how much fun it is.) Anyway, you can hear this song on the band's website. Click the band's name above.

The Maple State - We Swear By The Light Life
Four Britons, probably with pretty faces and bad teeth. They sound good, and I've only heard a rough demo quality mix of this song. Interesting drum beats, good blend of keys and guitar and mildly pleasing lyrics. Almost sounds like something from the 80's. You can hear it here last time I checked.

Death by Stereo - Unstoppable
Death by Stereo is a band that gets me so pumped up. They have freakin' sweet ass drum beats, awesomely powerful guitar riffs, sweet solos, and ear-blistering vocals. In fact, the other day, I was listening to them and I got so pumped up that I went outside and chopped a tree down. With my wiener. Then I ate the whole thing, including the squirrels that were living in it. Damn, that was sweet! Hardcore metal reminds me of a dude taking a crap that's sort of stuck. Yeah! Plus, the drummer of this band went to my high school. I used to beat him up with my sideburns, that's probably why he plays drums so pissed off-ish. (Na, I'm just kidding, I never beat him up. He was a few grades ahead of me. I think I saw him in the halls once. I think his name is Elmer, or Rufus, or something.) Hear some of their songs at this site.

Late Tuesday - Simply Beautiful
These are three chicks with a back-up band. I think the gals play guitar and piano too. They sing nice and it brings out the softer side of Mike. The side that doesn't ninja old ladies too hard and doesn't throw chipmunks at the birds at the birdfeeder. If yoo go to their site, you can click on their media player in the top right corner and hear some of their songs, including Simply Beautiful, which, when you hear it, you agree, was written about me.

Smell ya later.