Yo Joe!

Shit.

I had heard of You Tube before, but never checked it out until my pal dMANb sent me a link to a video on that site. Not only is the site mostly crap, but it's also mostly copyright infringement. Regardless of that though, it has some freakin' funny stuff. I was able to find all sorts of crazy crapsticks GI Joe public service annoucements, reworked to be more accurate.

Here's an example:
Original here
Reworked here

Check them out, but don't bother if you never watched GI Joe, you'll miss most of the joke. This stuff never gets old.
And, remember knowing is half the battle.

GI Joe #1, "Look at your different colored hats!"
GI Joe #2, "You're not my friend."
GI Joe #3, "Holy Cow, I'm totally going so fast!"
GI Joe #4, "Pork Chop Sandwiches!"
GI Joe #5, "They wake the next day and they're on fire."
GI Joe #6, "Stop all the downloading!"
GI Joe #7, "Huh?"
GI Joe #8, "Who wants a body message?"
GI Joe #9, "Damn, these beats are so fresh!"
GI Joe #10, "We should totally hit it again."
GI Joe #11, I have no idea what they are saying but it's funny to laugh at people who are different then us

P.S. Don't watch these at work.
P.S.S. John DeStefano looks like a toad.
P.P.S.S Brewing this weekend, sweet.

I didn't win the Tour de France

Last weekend, Michelle and I headed up to Boston for her birthday. I hoped we wouldn't get the same kind of heat we had the earlier part of the week. I'd have to bring a few extra shirts since I'd get all sweaty walking around. "Hot town, summer in the city, back of my neck get dirt and gritty..." It was really humid, but we still had a nice time. It rained a little too, but that's okay because, unlike the aliens in Signs, I'm not allergic to water. (Ha! Did I ruin the ending for you? You should have seen Signs long ago. Get with the times. Since then M. Night Shamalamadingdong has put out like 12 or 54 movies.)

If her birthday was only one week later, we'd have had the chance to see Gilbert Gottfried at the comedy connection in Boston. Too bad. He's funny. And ugly, but mostly funny. Okay. Actually, he's mostly ugly.

Before we left, I was riding my bike (a Trek 1500, carbon-titanium-adamantium alloy fork and spoon and frame, with Look carbon-based lifeform pedals, shimano-Ronco™ shifters and components, and a sweet hot pink, anus-master 3000 gel seat). I fell over after a squirrel ran out into the road, swinging a battle axe at me. I ripped my face off, but got a new one from Mel Gibson. Now I can read women's minds. So far most of them are saying, "My boobs have nipples." Here's a picture of my arm after the crash.



The pained look in my eye is because I just poured salt all over my arm. The wound looks like Italy because I'm half Italian. I'm also half Mexican, half Russian, and half & half with Equal. I did end up catching the squirrel. I ate his face off.

My pal Stan was only about 70 miles (instead of the usual 1200 miles), since he was at Cape Cod in Massachusetts. He was there with his mom and dad and some other family. Too bad we couldn't have found a way to hook up somewhere. Oh well.

Speaking of polacks, here's the big news from Goshen (pronounced like Gosh-in, absolutely not like Go-shin, no way). Big news in a small town. Whoopee! Losers...

Sounds are hearable...unless you're deaf

'Sup Bitch?

Remember that, huh? huh?

I haven't played guitar as much as I used to. I blame Michelle, because she let me get a drumset. Now, the only regular guitar playing I do is in bed before I fall asleep, and even then I have to listen to Michelle grumbling at me to quiet down. I should practice more, though the other day, I played the first lead part of Metallica's One fairly well. Then a string broke on Leroy, so I had to play Gunther, my metal guitar. I guess that's more fitting, since when they recorded One, Metallica was still a metal band. I used to want to have 1 milion guitars to play everyday, but now, I just want one more, a Martin D-28. Someday...

Once before, I talked about how my list of the best songs ever is getting out of date. It's not that those songs aren't good anymore, it's just that I hear new songs that I never heard before until I heard them, and I like them a lot, or a little or not all at, or somewhere in between. I listen to music a lot, except when I'm not. Here's some for you to try to find so you can hear them too, if you listen, and aren't deaf. Don't be surprised if you didn't like any of this. Not everyone can be as cool as me.

Minus the Bear - This Ain't a Surfin' Movie
The drum beat during the verse seems simple, but keeping straight quarter notes on the hi-hats over the kick and snare line is not easy. This song reminds me of summer and chilling out and firing bottle rocket's at small children. Well, not the last one, I guess. This song can be heard here. Just press the right arrows until you get to the This Ain't a Surfin' Movie. I actually bought this album, and this band has become one of my new favorites. Seriously, they rock my world.

Say Anything - Alive With the Glory of Love
This type of music would typically fall into my catch all category: crappity crap. But this song isn't too bad. It's basically a love song, but not really a ballad. It reminds me of a few stories I'm writting that are about love-sort of. (Sidenote: Man, I need to write more often. I forgot how much fun it is.) Anyway, you can hear this song on the band's website. Click the band's name above.

The Maple State - We Swear By The Light Life
Four Britons, probably with pretty faces and bad teeth. They sound good, and I've only heard a rough demo quality mix of this song. Interesting drum beats, good blend of keys and guitar and mildly pleasing lyrics. Almost sounds like something from the 80's. You can hear it here last time I checked.

Death by Stereo - Unstoppable
Death by Stereo is a band that gets me so pumped up. They have freakin' sweet ass drum beats, awesomely powerful guitar riffs, sweet solos, and ear-blistering vocals. In fact, the other day, I was listening to them and I got so pumped up that I went outside and chopped a tree down. With my wiener. Then I ate the whole thing, including the squirrels that were living in it. Damn, that was sweet! Hardcore metal reminds me of a dude taking a crap that's sort of stuck. Yeah! Plus, the drummer of this band went to my high school. I used to beat him up with my sideburns, that's probably why he plays drums so pissed off-ish. (Na, I'm just kidding, I never beat him up. He was a few grades ahead of me. I think I saw him in the halls once. I think his name is Elmer, or Rufus, or something.) Hear some of their songs at this site.

Late Tuesday - Simply Beautiful
These are three chicks with a back-up band. I think the gals play guitar and piano too. They sing nice and it brings out the softer side of Mike. The side that doesn't ninja old ladies too hard and doesn't throw chipmunks at the birds at the birdfeeder. If yoo go to their site, you can click on their media player in the top right corner and hear some of their songs, including Simply Beautiful, which, when you hear it, you agree, was written about me.

Smell ya later.

The wild life in town is getting too close for comfort

There are all sorts of wild life that we've seen since we've moved to Homer Simpson, CT. In Shelbyville, we lived in a little condo, surrounded by asphalt and buildings. Now we are surrounded by trees, grasses, and wild animals, crikey. "Watch as I tea..." (I get the joke, if you do too, you are cool, maybe.)

So, last year, a bear came up and had a few brews with me. And then, throughout the spring, we had bunnies eatting our grass. This is a shot I got with our nightvision camera (that's why it's a little grainy) of a wild bunny eatting our grass.



You can see the crazed look in it's eye. And check out how much grass he's eatten already!

Here's another bunny that I was able to get a picture of during the day.




Then a week ago, a cougar took a crap on my rock wall.

Now there is all sorts of little frogs climbing on my house. I think they are ninjas, but I'm not really sure. This is a really picture of a real life frog.



Then it hopped on my hand...



It climbed up my arm...



And it hopped up my back...




Immediately after this picture was taken, the frog hopped on my head and bit my ear off. No wonder the bunnies aren't in our yard anymore...these crazy frogs ate them all. Now everyone at work calls me Vah Gogh, but now I can save money on earplugs when I play drums, since a standard pack will last twice as long.

We even have a snake living under a bush in the front of the house. One time I fed him some beer. He was slithering this way and that. He was all f&#ked up.

Michelle names all the creatures in our yard. The bunnies are named Marvin, Chiclettes, and Skittles. The cougar is named T.A.N.C.I.C (There Are No Cougars In Connecticut, according to the DEP.) The snake is named Squiggles, and every single frog is named Jubei.

I named the cow we had in our yard too. It was named steak tips. Yum!

Minus the Bear

Minus the Bear is a rock-type, indie band from Seattle, Washington. For some reason, all the music I find for this site comes from the west coast.

They have been around since 2001, but I recently heard about them after they released their 5^th album, Menos el Oso.

They write good stuff with nice drum beats, interesting guitar riffs, and clever song names such as Hey! Is that a Ninja Up there? or Lemurs, Man, Lemurs. the only thing lacking a bit is the vocalist. It's not too bad, but it took be a little while to get used to the drab tone and barely minuscule amount of infection in his voice. Still, it's nice music to listen to. I've been listening to it a lot lately.

Borrowing their idea, click on these symbols to hear some music of theirs: %$...$%#$"$^*!))))("""" , or click on these crazy words to hear other stuff by them: booble huncha huncha!

Echo, (echo),(echo)

People who know me tend to know my name. If you're the revisiting, casual blog surfer, you've probably already figured out my name is Mike. For many years in a row, Michael has been in the top 10 most popular baby names. It makes sense since it is a cool name and people named Michael are smart, funny, witty and incredibly handsome. (Can you remember that chick named Michael? She was handsome too.) The fact that Michael is such a popular name is evident here at Meglo*Life since, in my department alone, there are 4 people, including me, named Mike.

The other day, I walked into the men's room to empty my bladder. As I walked in, I passed by another Mike washing his hand's at the sink. I said hello and headed to the urinal. At the urinal next me is another one of the Mike's. I said hi to him too. When I finished up, I washed my hands, because hand washing is the best way to prevent the spread of disease, and just then, the fourth Mike walked in. I said hello to him too. It went something like this:


Me (nodding my head): Mike

Mike: Mike

Me: Mike

Mike (to me): Mike

Mike (to Mike): Mike

Mike: Mike, hi.

Mike: Mike

Me: Mike

Mike: Hey Mike.

Mike: Mike

Mike: Mike.


Okay, that didn't really happen. But there are four Mike's where I work. Honestly, I hope that never does happen. I think if it were to occur, the universe might end.