Thanks

Thanks to you for giving me presents for Christmas. My favorite thing is what you gave me. I really appreciate it.

Please note that there are still a few things not crossed off my list, and since new year's is right around a corner, there are plenty of great things you can still get me as a new year's day present.

It would totally suck if I didn't get all I asked for, especially since I was so good this year, and I fed all of you on Christmas day, or on Logan's birthday party, or at Bob's since I made the mac and cheese this year.

Speaking of sucky things, the Thrashers are totally crappy. Not really a newsflash since they have always been below average. At least they've won more games than the Detroit Cry-ins.

I'm mildly disappointed that the Patriots lost the tiebreaker against the Dolphins. Both teams are 11-5, both are 4-2 in the AFC east, and both are 10-3 against similar opponents, but one of the Pats' losses was against the Chargers whereas the Dolphins lost to the Chiefs - meaning the Dolphins were 8-4 against the AFC while the Pats were 7-5. Oh well. I'll always have that 18-1 season to fondly remember...

S.I.T.
(text for "Suck It Trebek")

Gobbledy Gobble (Turkey for "What up suckas!")

Hey there,

It's thanksgiving time again. A time for Thanks, but more importantly, a time for giving. Giving to me. Giving to me presents! Jå Hanz! Ich bin solch ein recht junges Mädchen!

So here's my wish list this year.
(Santa, I know you read my blog, you fat sumbitch.)

This exact USB-AC adapter/charger

This Thrashers Hooded Sweatshirt in large

Batman: Gotham Knight movie

LEGO bricks
Lego shop at home allows you to purchase specific bricks in any quantity. Here are some bricks I’d like for my building. Start here. Scroll down and enter the element IDs from below in the element ID area.

They are sort of in order of preference…

Element ID	Description	Color	Quantity
4210631	Latice plate 1x2	Dark stone grey	100
654126	Technic Brick 1x1	Black	20
654101	Technic Brick 1x1	White	20
4121715	Connector peg w/fricton	Black	50
370026	Technic Brick 1X2, Ø4.9	Black	100
302126	Plate 2x3	Black	30
243101	Flat tile 1x4	White	20
4210700	Brick 1x1 w/ knobs	Dark stone grey	50
4253815	Brick 1x2 w/ 4knobs	Black	20
307001	Flat tile 1x1	White	20
243101	Flat tile 1x4	White	30
306801	Flat tile 2x2	White	20
4211194	Flat tile 1x4	Reddish brown	20
243123	Flat tile 1x4	Bright blue	20
243126	Flat tile 1x4	Black	50
4211356	Flat tile 1x4	Medium stone grey	50
3000840	Plate 1x1	Transparent	60
4211399	Plate 1x1	Medium stone grey	100
4211053	Flat Tile 1x4	Dark stone grey	20
4211389	Brick 1x1	Medium stone grey	40
4211098	Brick 1x1	Dark stone grey	40
307026	Flat tile 1x1	Black	20

The Force Unleashed for the Wii

A gift certificate to MoreBeer.com (NOTE: This cost $1 in addition to the face amount),

Rome Season 1 & 2

Robots and Empire, by Isaac Asimov

Nightfall by Isaac Asimov and Robert Silverberg

This USB SD card reader from Best Buy

A Leatherman multi-tool, like this one here.

Saw blade

Acoustics album by Minus the Bear

Guitar Hero: World Tour Bundle for the Wii

Make sure you coordinate with others, since I don't need more than one of most of the things on the list.

Now get buying!!
Thanks.

You're all goofy

Hey. Thanks for inviting me to go to Disney World too.

Bitches.

"I'm the one who wants to be with you"

The 80's rocked.

Seriously.

Just look at these dudes (I think they are dudes?) and tell me the 80's didn't rock.


The best thing about the 80's was that bands actually had musicians in them back then. At some point in the early or mid 1990's bands started focusing on passion and emotion in their sounds and thus, popular music shifted towards feelings.

Feelings in music are great, but it still has to be music for those sounds to count, right?

Anyway, I recently realized that Paul Gilbert is one of the best guitarists ever. He is a virtuoso. He can play guitar at close to 845.2 beats per minute.

Plus, he wears a spacesuit around, which is just generally cool.

And he lived in Japan for a while, so it's probable that he's a quarter to a third ninja as well, and that's totally sweet.


I never knew back then how awesome he was. I only sort of knew of him because he was in Mr. Big, and they had that sissy hit ballad that was all over the radio, and MTV (back when MTV had music on it), and at high school dances. It was terrible.

I stumbled upon another band he was/is in called Racer X. These guys were totally 80's: big hair, leather jackets, bulge inducing ultra tight jeans, huge dangly earrings, etc.

To summarize, they rocked major ass.



I got to wondering why bands without musicians in them become popular. I recall Kim Thayil of Soundgarden commenting on a visit to a music store once. Apparently a young guitarist played circles around him there. Kim scoffed and said something like, "I made more money this year then you will your whole life, so who cares how much better than me you are."


Now, I doubt he meant to be an major asshole, and I think he made a good point: most listeners don't care if a band has ability. To be fair, I think Kim Thayil got lucky and Soundgarden only got popular enough for it matter after: a.) Nirvana, and b.) Chris Cornell learned how to play guitar and starting writing their songs.

In my experience, lots of times people have no idea what talent or ability is necessary to make certain sounds occur. Once even, a guitar player in high school demeaned Metallica because all they did was "play powerchords." Yeah sure, but they played powerchords, but they played them really, really fast and really clean. (Plus they played other things too, but this buttmunch was too busy strumming open chords to notice.)

Someone like Buckethead is a great guitarist as well, but what's it worth to him. I guess he tried to play in Guns n' Roses, but it didn't work out. I can imagine that Axl is a real dick to worth with, maybe because he has such a clear idea of what he wants out of his music. (Or maybe because he's just a dick.) Anyway, Buckethead could easily hold chops against Izzy or Slash (though Izzy can really write great songs) and he'd likely get really famous and rich if he played in Guns n' Roses long enough.

Maybe he doesn't care because he just likes making music and challenging himself. I don't know. I sometimes wonder if it's like the guy who holds the Guiness World Record for most items stuffed in his anus, or like most olympic sports. How valuable is the fact that you're the best at something if only 5 people even try (or care to try) to do it?

Now, it might sound like I'm advocating a shitass, "feelings" band like Staind. No. They suck balls. I hate them like Anakin hated Obi Wan after he cut all his extremities off. If I ever saw them, I would crap on their heads. I just wonder why Mozart can last so long, but modern talent, hard work and ability can easily be dismissed for a dude sounding like he's dropping a deuce in his pants.

Number 2!

P.S. Irony is this: as awesome is as awesome is, the hardest thing for a drummer to do is play 1 beat every second for 5 minutes straight, without a metronome, and still be on time when the 5 mintues is done. That is such a simple sounding thing, but so difficult. Go figure. I'm off to bed.

(A G-run plays in the breakground now. G-A-Bb-B-D-E-D-G.)

Huh?

I noticed on my visitor tracker that a lot of recent visits came from people searching for koala swimwear, as I recently named a post after that. If you've never seen a koala swimsuit, I suggest you check it out. Do an image search on Google and make sure the safe search is off. Try searching at work, or church, or when little children are nearby and paying 100% attention to what's on the computer screen. Better yet, check it out with your mom in the room.

SCRATCH THAT! Don't do any of that stuff! If you really must see a koala swimsuit, do it when no one is around, unless you want to get fired or arrested or slapped.

That brings up something that I always wonder about sometimes: How many inside jokes do I use on this blog that only a small handful of you readers actually know? I would guess almost every post has some joke in it that only one or two of the readers he actually understand. (Right, Sniffy?)

Or for that matter, how many of you actually even care? And why would I even think that any of you would want to read about me? Seriously, I suck. I'm only mildly handsome. I can't break a 4 minute mile. I can't quite benchpress 450 lbs. I can't even hit the high F in Minnie Riperton's Loving You. I don't do anything remotely important.

With YouTube: Broadcast Yourself ^TM, MySpace, me.com, and Windows Live Space, everybody in the world today thinks they are special and better than average. They also think that everyone else actually cares about what they think and have to say. Fooey!

You should stop reading this right now and go outside. One day you're going to die, but right before that happens, you'll think, "Sheesh, I wish I went outside instead of thinking I cared about what Mike was always doing sometimes. I am such a numbnuts."

Actually, don't stop reading just yet. Check out this guy first. He actually is doing something important and he actually is better than average. Plus, I think he can hit that high F.

Different, but not the same

I'm back from the dead.

I will tell you now, Hell is a hell of a lot hotter than they say it is. No joke.

I don't plan on going back there again. The experience has changed me. You'll notice it here, I'm sure. I'll still make you laugh if you think something I wrote is funny. I might make you cry too if I kick you in the nuts. Who knows?

It was funny, looking up passed all the flames, to see how most of you kept coming back even though I said I was done. You must have thought I was lying to you?

When I got back, my first thought was, "You are all losers. I will never post again just to prove that your repeated visits are a waste of time."

But then I thought, "You need me, and love me so I will go through the painful steps of posting so your life can have some meaning."

So this is for you all, not me. It's altruistic now. You're welcome.

Hopefully that's good enough.

My New Favorite Greeting

Maybe you can relate to this. Often in the halls of Meglo*Life, two passersby know each other and make some comment like, "Hi, how's it going?" or "Hey there, what's going on?" They really don't care what the other has to say, as long as it's no longer than "Good" or "Fine, Thanks. And you?" I know this is true because once I said, "Terrible, my leg fell off this morning when I was putting my pants on." All I got in response was, "Take it easy man."

Most of the time, both people just keep on walking anyway, so by the end of the exchange, they are 20 feet down the hall from each other, and facing the other way.

From now on, (within the scope of my relationship with the other person, of course) my canned response in these types of exchanges will be, "'Sup Bitch."

I'll let you know how it turns out.